Edgar Allen Poe: Vampire Hunter

    Edgar Allen Poe stood at the bottom of the dark tower, his soaking clothes sagging down on his body. He'd endure the rain as long as he could, for a vampire awaited him inside the tower. How am I supposed to kill this thing he thought. I'm a writer, not a hunter.
    But his task would not be done for him; eventually he'd have to follow through with his contract. He stepped up to the door with his stake and hammer in hand. After a sigh of anticipation, he busted the door open and braced himself for attack. But no attack came. Instead, Edgar Alen Poe was left to behold empty furniture lit by dim, flickering candle light. You cruel tormentor. Enough of the hiding and suspense. Come out and meet your doom!
    The only direction to go besides the door was up the stairs. Up Edgar Allen Poe went. On the next floor he found another room, this time with only a long desk along the far wall. This too flickering in dim candlelight. Up the next staircase he went.
    In the next room sat a single open coffin, its red, velvet upholstery inviting Edgar Allen Poe to come have a rest, only for a minute. But no, he had a contract to fulfill. Up he went what he presumed was the last set of stairs.
    The final, top room of the tower had a large window on one side, and in front of the window was a silhouette. A silhouette of his target. It didn't move. Edgar Allen Poe crept towards it. Still, no movement.
    He had a single chance, and desperate to be done with this contract, he dove forward and slammed the stake through the core. Without giving a moment for the vampire to react, he threw the fiend to the ground, and slammed his hammer down on the stake, ensuring it was thoroughly driven through.
    Edgar Allen Poe stood over the body hunched over, regaining his composure from his sudden exertion. Then a snicker sounded from the corner. A lightbulb clicked on, bathing the room in neutral, white light. The snicker became true laughter as the vampire stood similarly hunched over, clutching his gut.
    Between violent bursts of guttural laughs, the vampire said "Come to vanquish me, Edgar. Allen. Poe? You've made this quite enjoyable!" Another laugh.
    "You monster. Cease your toying with me!" The writer ripped the stake from the decoy's core, then flung it right at the real vampire's chest. With a casual wave of his hand the vampire blocked the projectile, knocking it to the ground.
    For the first time, true fear instilled in the writer. He had only his hammer, but that would be useless by itself against a vampire. His enemy's laughter increased as he began slowly stepping toward the intruder. "You didn't think you could actually succeed in this assignment, did you?"
    "I'll leave. Let me live, and I'll leave you alone, forever. I'll forget the contract." Edgar Allen Poe replied.
    "Ha! So much concern for your contract..." the vampire said. Then he paused. He sighed, then turned around and began walking down the stairs, leaving Edgar Allen Poe alone in the top room.
    Edgar Alen Poe waited there for some time, unsure of what to do. He was trapped inside the vampire's dwelling. He'd rather be back out in the rain. More games. The incessant villain.
    Maybe he could descend the stairs quick enough to escape the vampire. That was his only option. Then he remembered the hammer in his hand. He could smash the window and jump out. He'd break his legs, and then what, leave himself for the vampire to consume? No, running down the stairs would have to do. He could still defend himself with the hammer if he needed to.
    Bracing himself for the sprint of his life, Edgar Allen Poe approached as close to the stairs as he dared before running. With a final burst of confidence, he descended the stairs two at a time, preparing to swing at the enemy. When he arrived on the third floor, there was no one in sight. Where is he?
    Then Edgar Allen Poe dashed for the next set of stairs, and just before he began to descend, he heard the now familiar voice. "What on earth are you doing? Come here."
    The vampire sat up in the coffin, leering at his guest. The vampire was behind him; all he had to do was continue running. He'd be out the door, back into the rain, and on his way to safety. To home. But the vampire's statement commanded him, and so Edgar Allen Poe turned and approached his enemy.
    "Give me that contract" the vampire said. Edgar Allen Poe stood there confused before shuffling around in his pockets for the contract. The vampire made no move to attack.
    Eventually Edgar Allen Poe procured the document and handed it to the vampire. After a minute of perusing it, the vampire took out a ball point pen, clicked it, and signed the contract. "Now please be on your way and leave me in peace" he said. 
    Edgar Allen Poe stammered "Y-Yes, of course," and accepted the signed contract back. Then he turned and descended the rest of the floors without another word from the vampire.
    A minute later he found himself soaking once again in the rain, and with his contract complete, he began his walk back home to collect his bounty. The long road back would give him time to fathom the absurdity of what he'd just experienced.

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