Battle in the Forest Clearing

    Four Button Buddies and their Needlancer stood dancing before Kythe. The moon smiled at him from behind them, and he smiled back. He summoned Lunascend, which appeared in his hands amidst fluttering sparkles, then waved it threateningly before the enemies with a flourish. They didn't seem fazed by the display, and Kythe furrowed his brow at that.

    Without warning, the Button Buddie parted and the Needlancer attacked Kythe, thrusting swiftly between its companions. Kythe reacted a moment too late and the large spear tore through his shirt, slicing his skin as he turned. He brought Lunascend up and knocked the spear away, prepared for further attacks. Before any more could come, he swiped at the Needlancer, landing a small blow to the thing's head. Sensing the threat, the four Button Buddies immediately maneuvered to surround Kythe, their button shields in front of them, ready to protect their master.

    They danced around him counterclockwise, while the Needlancer slowly moved in the opposite direction around them, searching for an opening, an opportunity to attack. Kythe kept watch on the Needlancer, but had to split his attention watching his back too. The Button Buddies didn't seem hostile, but he couldn't be sure.

    As he was inspecting his rear, the Needlancer once again thrust toward him, but Kythe was prepared, and he parried the attack, then countered with another swipe, and several jabs, weakening his opponent.  At this further hostility toward their master, the Button Buddies clearly became enraged. Their faces hid behind the shield, with only their eyes peering above, but that was enough to see their countenance change from neutral to angry. The shift of their eye color from black to red was a good indicator, too.

    At once, they butted towards him with their shields. The only way out was up, so Kythe leaped backwards out of their circle, parrying another thrust from the Needlancer in midair, and landed several feet from where he was standing. The Button Buddies' turned and danced toward him aggressively, with the Needlancer behind.

    Kythe charged Lunascend up and it began glowing with a soft pale-blue light. When the enemies were close, he unleashed his power in a wide spin, inflicting critical damage and putting them each in a daze.  It must have been enough damage for the Button Buddies because shortly after they each wavered and disintegrated in a strange dark essence, leaving only a tiny white thread each floating to the ground.

    The Needlancer remained, and not wanting to endure anymore strikes from the giant sewing needle, Kythe quickly struck the being one. . . two. . . three times in succession, rendering the same fate upon it as its companions. Again, when it disintegrated, a small white thread fluttered down to the ground.

    When the fight was over, Kythe released Lunascend, and in the same manner it had appeared in his hands, it disappeared, leaving fluttering sparks behind. Kythe picked up the five white threads the beings left behind, inspected them for a moment, curious, then stowed them away to scrutinize later. He inspected his surroundings, and judging it to be safe, he set up camp and spent the night there, thinking about what these things were, and what his part in all this was.

Sampcin and the Snagglecats

    Sampcin Toefingers traipsed through the mud, wary of any snagglecats on the loose. They came out at dusk, after rainstorms, so now was the most likely time he'd run into them. It wasn't long until he did.  Their snickering and cackling echoed through the trees, and Sampcin knew he only had moments to find shelter. He spotted a hollowed-out tree and sprinted towards it, slipping and sliding with each step. Into the cover of the tree he dove, and he could almost feel the bite of the snagglecats on his toes as he entered.

    Just beyond the hole Sampcin saw their glowing purple eyes staring in at him. It was dry, and cozy in here, and the snagglecats would hate it.

    "Ah, it's good to have company!" a voice spoke next to him.

    Sampcin jumped up, startled, and hit his head on the ceiling of the hollow.

    "Don't fear, it's just Old Buskermung staying dry in this here tree!" the man spoke again.

    Relieved, Sampcin leaned back against the rear of the hollow and waited for morning with Old Buskermung in the hollow of the tree.

Crater Duty

    The crater formed by the impact was larger than he'd ever seen, almost a mile wide.

    "This'll be a long job," Doug muttered. "Well, let's get on with it Alabaster" he said to his dog as he began his journey toward the giant hole in the ground.

    Several hours later, Doug and Alabaster arrived at the rim of the impact sight with bucket and shovel in hand. With a sigh, Doug began scooping the dirt back into the hole. Alabaster joined him, digging away in a classic canine fashion, flinging dirt backwards through his hind legs, back into the crater.

Sally Mally and the Mayonnaise Sandwich

    Sally Mally sat in her bean bag chair eating her mayonnaise sandwich when her big brother, Silly Billy, ran up and jumped on the other side of the bean bag chair. He sent Sally Mally flying into the air, but luckily she clutched tightly to her mayonnaise sandwich which flailed open on one end and stuck to the ceiling as she reached the apex of her launch.

    Silly Billy sat there laughing, but Sally Mally didn't find it so funny. She couldn't hold her grip for too long, so as she hung there dangling, she thought hard about her predicament. After some time, the answer became clear. She swung herself appropriately, and when the timing was just right, she released her grip from her sandwich and fell down right back onto the bean bag chair, thus launching Silly Billy into the air. When Silly Billy reached the ceiling, his head stuck to the mayonnaise sandwich, leaving him dangling instead.

    Sally Mally sat comfortable cushioned in her bean bag chair, and though she greatly missed her mayonnaise sandwich, she could always make another. She may not have another chance to watch her brother dangle from the ceiling by a mayonnaise sandwich, though, so she enjoyed the sight while she could.

Beware the Snorfuls

    Consider yourself lucky if you've never been visited by the Snorfuls. They're the most appalling guests you'll have ever had. They'll make themselves at home and stay far past their welcome, with is about a minute if you're a patient person. If you actually manage to get them to leave, you'll be busy for weeks cleaning boogers off the walls, plunging toilets, and scraping various dried sauces and jams off of every surface of the kitchen. And you might as well replace the carpets because no amount of cleaning is going to remove the caked in mud and dog poop they tracked through the house. Goodness, I hope you're never visited by the Snorfuls!

Merry Mistledorf

    Merry Mistledorf from Planet Hollyday! Make sure you're on our galactic greeting list to ensure you receive your holiday. . .ahem. . . well wishes! You can expect your planetary destructor mistle to arrive in the form of a long bulbous shape, delivered directly to your planetary doorstep by a 100 Shmigawatt laser beam. If the laser doesn't fry your planet first, congratulations! You have about another eight minutes to say farewell to your loved ones before your planet is annihilated by the planetary destructor mistle!
Season's greetings from your galactic dictators, the Hollydozers!

Jinglesnatch

    Come join us for the annual Jinglesnatch! Every year contestants participate in this festive tradition, eager to earn the jinglecrown. The previous year's winner starts in the middle wearing the jinglecrown on his head, while all the contestants align around the perimeter of the circular field. When the contest starts, every participant rushes onto the field to try to snatch the jinglecrown. Anyone who crosses back over the starting line is out, and the winner is the last person wearing the jinglecrown. Last year's winner was Snatch Adams, and his long-time rival Jingle Bella has been quite vocal about her intent to win this year! It should be quite the game! Join us this Christmas Eve at 9:00 AM folks!

The Thanksgiving Ingsquitsch

    If you find yourself in the company of an Ingsquitsch this Thanksgiving, well, be thankful! He'll likely find a comfortable spot on your couch, and though he won't ask anything of you, the expectation is there, nonetheless. Serving the Ingsquitsch with plenty of food and drink will earn you a "Danken Danken!" and in reply to "Happy Thanksgiving Inqsquitsch!" you'll of course receive "Habba Gibbendanks!" in return.

    Why would you allow such a creature in your house you ask? Well, imagine when a turkey-and-eggnog-crazed uncle comes wobbling through your front door uninvited, and the Ingsquitsch immediately notices the disruption. He'll be the first one to pick the uncle up over his head and tie him to a tree outside until he's right in the head and decides to behave. While this is happening, you and your loved ones get to continue to enjoy the warmth and joy of your home without disruption. All for the price of some food and drink. Who wouldn't want an Ingsquitsch joining them for Thanksgiving anyway?

Sluuurp for Gretchen

    Sluuurp. The noise made Gretchen cringe. Every morning Chaz slurped his coffee in a way that said, "I know this annoys you, and I enjoy it." Well Gretchen had had enough. She stomped to the next row over, grabbed Chaz's mug, and dumped it on his head. He spun around startled, and gasped "Gretchen! What the heck!"

    Gretchen stood there with her arms crossed and explained "I, and the rest of this office, have had enough of your slurping. Please, for the love of God, drink like a normal person!"

    Chaz blinked in surprise, and then asked "Gretchen, what slurping?"

    "Oh, don't act like you don't know. We can hear you from the hallway. Every morning!"

    Before Chaz could respond, a loud Sluuurp sound came from Gretchen's desk. Gretchen's eyes went wide, and she rushed over to her desk, where she realized the slurp sound had come from her oscillating fan blowing across her water cup, changing the pressure in the straw as it did, and thus causing a slurping sound. This whole time she thought it was Chaz slurping his coffee.

    "Chaz, I'm so sorry! It's my fan causing the slurping sound. I thought it was you this whole time!"

    Chaz chuckled "No worries, Gretchen, this isn't the first time I've had coffee dumped on my head!"

Gretchen thanked Chaz for his understanding, then returned to her desk and moved her cup away from the fan. She returned to her work, content knowing the cause of the slurping had been discovered.

    A minute later she heard Sluuurp again. She checked her cup, and her fan, and then realized the Sluuurp was followed by snickering. Chaz... Gretchen thought, gripping her pencil so hard it snapped.  The snickering increased to chuckles at the sound of the pencil snapping. Gretchen let it be for the time being and began plotting her revenge.

Down to Earthworm

    The branch snapped and Climbon came crashing through the tree, hitting the forest floor with a thud.  Critters scurried away through the brush, leaving only a few leaves fluttering to the ground. Climbon looked around for his target in vain. It certainly disappeared, frightened off from the commotion.

    Realizing his loss, Climbon fetched his sneakers from the pack he had hidden in a nook at the bottom of the tree. He put them on, grabbed his pack, and sprinted through the forest back to school.

    "Did you find the butterfly?" Joann asked.

    "No, the branch snapped before I could leap.  I fell to the ground scaring everything away in the process."

    "Aw man. Well, you tried. I guess plan B it is."

    "Yeah. Got the worm?"

    "Yup." Joann said and began pinning it to the styrofoam block. It was a sad entomology project, but their grand plan to present a Blue Morpho had failed, so an earthworm from the school yard would have to do.

Coughing Coughlin

    Coughlin sat in her bed coughing for the fifth day straight. Her sisters were beyond annoyed at her by this point. They had stopped visiting her altogether, leaving their sister by herself saying "Let us know when you're done coughing, Coughlin! Then we'll come back to play."
    Upset at the situation, Coughlin finally called for her mother. "Mom, why do I keep coughing? I'm so tired of it, I just want to go out and play with my sisters again!" Coughlin's mother sat down and inspected her child. After a brief examination, her mother reached into her daughter's mouth and pulled out a long strand of yarn. The tip was wiggling through Coughlin's teeth as she spoke, and when it all had come out, it seemed to be about the length of an entire ball of yarn.
    "Coughlin, I think I found the problem." Coughlin's mother said holding up the soggy mass.  Blushing, Coughlin replied "Oh. That makes sense."
    "What happened dear?"
    "Well, I was playing with Dittles and I was pretending to be the vacuum, a little too realistically evidently. The coughing started shortly after that, so I must have inhaled the yarn when I was playing with her."
Coughlin's mother stared at her incredulously. Then she rolled her eyes, and seeing that Coughlin was no longer coughing, suggested she go outside and get some fresh air. Her sisters would be thrilled the coughing was over.

The Witch's Beans

    "Eat the beans!" the old witch cried. The little children sat there sobbing. They didn't want to eat the beans. "But you must!" the witch would reply whenever they complained. For hours the children sat there poking their beans. They couldn't leave the table unless they took a bite. But the beans were so gross.
    Finally, Jeremiah mustered up the courage to defy the old witch. "I'm not eating the beans" he yelled to her. The witch glared at Jeremiah, and with a slow, intentional, menacing voice she spoke "But. You. Must." Jeremiah stood quivering on his chair but refused to back down. Slowly, one by one, the rest of the children too stood up on their chairs and defied the old witch. No one had ever stood up to the witch before, and she wavered slightly, but only for a moment.
    The witch shook it off, and with renewed vigor, she cackled and screamed at the children "Eeeeat the Beeeeeeaaannns!" and finished her cry with another cackle. Together, in unison, the children yelled back "We will not eat the beans!" and they all leaped off their chairs with their forks in their hands, and began stabbing the witch's garments, pinning her to the floor.
    Little Mariah was the last child left with a fork, but before she could take her turn pinning the witch down, Jeremiah stopped her and instead encouraged her to take the honor of feeding the witch the beans from each of their plates. Mariah gladly took the opportunity to do so, and soon after, the children stood in a ring around the witch chanting "Eat the beans! But you must!" over and over while Mariah fed the witch beans slowly, and intentionally.

    She continued until the witch had choked every single bean down, and once she had, Mariah let the fork clatter to the ground. The children then found their belongings and escaped the witch's house.  They navigated through the forest, seeking civilization, never to return to the witch's house again.

Contagion Outbreak on Platform Rzragzrog

    Zargborf was investigating his daily human specimens when the contagion alarm began blaring. He turned around to find one of the specimens sitting up and coughing. The alien turned back and ran to the quarantine chamber at the end of the corridor. Zargborf ripped the emergency latch from the wall and the chamber door hissed open. Primgoo and Belldaree were already inside, and when he entered, they handed him a hazmat mask. They'd be waiting here until the contagion response team had cleared the facility.

    Through the window they could see the hulking members stomping along the corridor. They had found the awake human, but they had stopped and it looked like they'd succumbed to a conversation with the being. Next they pointed in Zargborf's direction, and the human began walking his way, waving behind him in what his rudimentary understanding of human expressions had taught him seemed to be thanks.      The human approached closer and closer, and Zargborf, Primgoo, and Belldaree grew tenser and tenser. The human walked right up to the chamber and the three inside were quaking in fear. Then he walked past, and a minute later they heard a flush through the walls of the quarantine chamber. Right, the bathroom was adjacent.

    The human exited the lavatory, then returned to his designated examination station. After a cordial shake of appendages, the human lied back down on the table, and the contagion response guys gave him, and then the corridor, a quick spray with disinfectant. They left, and the contagion alarm shut off, indicating to the three in the quarantine chamber that they could safely exit. They resumed their duties, but with a heightened sense of worry. How could that have happened so easily?

Hammered Silent

    The barking had gone on all night, and Mackenzie couldn't sleep. The lack of sleep wasn't what caused her to take sure drastic action, though. It was the incessant noise. You can be awake for a long time, and it might be hard, but being awake without being able to think will drive your sanity away.  So, Mackenzie took action.

    She put on her robe and slippers, went downstairs, and as she passed the garage, she grabbed the first heavy blunt object she could find: a hammer. This will do she thought. Mackenzie went out the back door and across the alley to the house with the barking dog. Snow fell on her, and the cold chilled her feet numb, but she had only one thing on her mind: the barking must stop.

    The single back porch light illuminated the back year enough to find the creature, but she would have found it by the noise alone. "Time to quiet you up" she murmured, as she approached the dog. She grabbed the animal and dragged it to the corner of the yard, by an old pile of scrap wood. She paused, stared it in the eyes, and it still continued barking. So, she swung. Bark! She swung again. Bark!

    She continued swinging her hammer, over and over, unable to bear the barking any longer. And with every swing the dog continued to bark. Eventually she reached her final blow, and she struck it with finality. This was it. The barking would end.

    The dog gave one last, raspy bark after she swung the hammer the final time, then with a shiver, he entered his new doghouse. Mackenzie found an old blanket with which to cover the poor animal, then returned home to finally get some rest.

A Bowl of Soup for Edith

    Edith Shrivel sat down at her table with her soup. She was a small woman, and like her surname implied, she looked like a raisin. Her feet dangled above the floor as she sat in her seat, and the bridge of her nose sat even with the surface of the table. To eat her soup, she really had to drink it. With both hands she grabbed it, brought it to her mouth, then slurped. As she returned it to the table, it caught on the edge, spilling over the entire surface.

    Patiently, Edith descended from the chair, walked over to the cupboard and retrieved a towel. She returned to her seat and climbed back up, then stood on top to climb onto the table. Then she put the towel down and stood on it, shuffling around and soaking up the soup. She returned to her place at the table, climbed back down to the chair, then to the floor, and threw the towel into the laundry hamper.

    Again, she returned to her seat, climbed up and sat to take another sip of her soup, but when she reached for it, she realized she had forgotten a napkin. So once again she descended from her chair, then fetched a napkin. And again, she climbed into her seat.

    Edith placed her napkin on her lap, then went to drink more soup, but found it to be too cold. She instead descended once again from her chair, placing her soup on her seat as she did so. She then retrieved a step stool from the closet and placed it in front of the sink. Then she returned to her seat to fetch the bowl of soup and carefully carried it over to the step stool and placed it in the sink.

    The irony was she was now hungrier than when she sat down to eat. With a sigh, Edith decided that beef stew would be the better choice to sate her hunger now. So once again she retrieved her cooking supplies, ignited the stove, and began the process of cooking another bowl-based meal.

Payload Unexpectedly Compromised

    Down the corridor and through the gate Mansander crashed. He held the payload under one arm and pistol in the other, alert for any foes trying to surprise him. Three broke right through the wall up ahead, and a moment later they dropped dead. As Mansander leaped over them the bullets retreated from their targets' head wounds, back into the pistol magazine. This auto-retrieve magazine was one of the best investments he'd made.

    Mansander turned the corner, and according to his nav, the hatch to the rooftop should be at the end of this hallway. There it was. He leaped to the ladder and began climbing. He found the hatch locked tight when he reached the top, and the enemies had nearly reached him. Mansander stuck a timed explosive to the hatch, then dropped down and put the payload behind him as he prepared for the onslaught.

    Dozens of enemies appeared, and they all set their sights on him. In an instant they fired on him, and after the smoke cleared, instead of a dead intruder, they found Mansander prone, holding his pistol in the air. All the bullets entered the guns auto-retrieve proximity, and thus into the gun itself.

    Smiling, Mansander rose, and returned fire on them all. The explosive blew the hatch open, and after ensuring no enemies remained, he picked up the payload, climbed the ladder up through the hatch and to the roof, where an escape helicopter was waiting for him. Before he could make it to the helicopter, though, it exploded.

    Infernal Jack stood on the roof of the opposing building, smiling with a smoldering rocket launcher in his hands. Fortunately for Mansander, one of the emergency parachutes landed in front of him from the explosion. He put it on, then fashioned a makeshift sling out of extra paracord for the payload. He gently harnessed the payload to his chest, then leaped off the building, thus escaping the carnage he just faced.

    When he landed, he gently undid the sling, and quickly removed the parachute, stuffing it in the trash. He held the payload tight to his chest, ready to return home to the rest of his family. He missed his wife so much. He boarded the subway, and after a relatively quiet ride back to his neighborhood, he exited, eager to be home. Before he could leave the station, though, he heard a voice shouting from behind. "Mansander! Mansander is that you!"

    Oh no, not CJ. Mansander put his finger to his mouth saying "shhh" but CJ didn't get the message. He never did. CJ came up to Mansander and patted him obnoxiously on the back, asking just louder than was socially acceptable "Mansander, how's it going bud! It's been a long time!"

    At the rather annoying noise, the payload began to shuffle, and with the panic that every parent knows, Mansander's baby woke up. "Gah, hey CJ, now's not a good time. I'm trying to get Kidsander home, and the last thing we need right now is a cranky baby."

    "Oh right, sure sure, man, I get it. So where's your car, I'll walk with you there!"

    "It's really ok, I'll make my -- Shhh, it's ok baby, Daddy's got you -- I'll see you around, ok?"

    "Of course, man, great running into you. . . Let's grab lunch alright?"
    Mansander buckled in Kidsander, then closed his own door, and CJ continued on chatting. As Mansander drove away he could hear CJ's barely muffled voice rambling on about the chowder at Boston Billy's. Kidsander was screaming by this point, and Mansadner did his best to console the baby, but ultimately just affirmed that they'd be home with Mommy soon.

The Night of Pulsing Bass

    Strutter, the cool owl, sat in his nest until sunset, and as soon as the last light dipped behind the mountains, he swooped down to the ledge of the warehouse down below and waited for the music to start. He didn't have to wait long before a thumping came from deep within the building, which reverberated throughout the structure. Strutter felt the beat, turned his hat backwards, put on his sunglasses, and began to strut along the ledge.

    All the woodland critters came out to watch Strutter strut, and after he had gone back and forth a couple times, they joined in the dancing too. Late into the night the parking lot was full of shimmying racoons and pronking deer. Squirrels tried to dance, but they didn't really understand the concept, so they mostly just ran around in circles, then ended up chasing each other like usual. The rabbits all took turns bobbing up and down to the rhythm which was all fine by the rest of the animals.

    Suddenly, one of the deer stopped moving and turned its head to stare straight into the dark alley. One by one the rest of the deer perked up to stare down the alley. The rest of the animals continued dancing to the thumping, and Strutter kept on strutting. Suddenly, two cops jumped out from the alley shining bright flashlights at a now empty parking lot. They heard a "hoo!" from the roof and spotted an owl standing there keeping watch.

    Grumbling, the cops departed the scene and moved onto their next call of the night. When they were sure the cops had departed, the animals resumed their dancing, and in one swift motion Strutter replaced his hat and sunglasses and continued his strutting. The animals kept dancing until the twilight of early dawn, when they returned to their various burrows and nests. All except Strutter, who kept on strutting until the sun shone its very first rays of the next day, and only then flew back to his home to rest and wait for the next Night of Pulsing Bass.

Slippery Jack

    Slippery Jack ran away from the cops with the bag of money flailing around in his hand. Two cops leaped upon him, but he just slipped right through them. Before any more cops could reach him, Slippery Jack squeezed through the barrier bars on the bridge and jumped onto barge passing underneath. The cops just stood and stared in amazement. Well, it looked like there was no catching this guy, so off to the donut shop they went,

Flipper the Pen Flipper

    Flipper walked down the school hall, doing what he was known for: flipping pens in his fingers. Some kids sneered at him in jealousy; some gazed at him in awe. It didn't matter to Flipper; he just wanted to flip his pens.

    One day, Mr. Boringbones had had enough of Flipper's flipping. He stood outside his classroom door, and when the talented student walked by, flipping his pens, Mr. Boringbones snatched them from the air and pocketed them. "That's enough flipping Mr. Flop. Class is about to start, please have a seat. You can have your pens back at the end of the day."

    Flipper stood unmoving, emotionless, as Mr. Boringbones spoke. Sweat began dripping down the teacher's neck as Flipper remained silent and still. Just as Mr. Boringbones began to address the student again, Flipper swiftly grabbed the teacher and flipped him over. He spun so fast that the pens flew out of his pocket, which Flipper snatched back out from the air, and proceeded on his way to the student lounge as Mr. Boringbones landed with a thud on his head.

    After the students witnessed this, they threw their books and papers into the air, then followed Flipper to the lounge, gushing on about how cool he was, and then surrounded him on the couch as he continued flipping. Over the days that followed, every student at school started flipping pens themselves, and it became a ritual to flip Mr. Boringbones as you entered his classroom.

    When Mr. Boringbones approached the principal about constantly being flipped before class, Principal Chill rolled his eyes and reminded him that this was part of his contract. Principal Chill, looked at his watch and realized he had to be somewhere, so he grabbed his skateboard and departed the office, flipping Mr. Boringbones on the way out while simultaneously reminding him to return to his classroom.  With a sigh, Mr. Boringbones stood up and did as he was told, reminding himself not to take student's pens anymore.

Alex's New Job

    Alex Drummond just started at his new job, and on the way to the bathroom, he passed a man who then introduced himself. "Ah you're the new hire, right? Alex, was it?"

    Alex replied with enthusiasm, wanting to make the best impression he could to every new person he met. "Hello, yes sir, I'm Alex Drummond, then new analyst. It's great to be here!" And then Alex stuck out his hand for a handshake.

    When the man returned the gesture Alex hardly heard what came out of his mouth because the man had a hook for a hand, and Alex had no idea how to shake hands with a man who had a hook for a hand.  They didn't teach him this in his career preparation class! He had two options: either shake the man's hook and make a good impression, or not shake the man's hook, and risk leaving a poor impression.

    Well, his career preparation class made sure he left knowing to always leave a good impression, so Alex firmly grabbed hold of the man's hook and shook it vigorously. He shook it so vigorously that it loosened and left the man's arm completely. When Alex realized this, he laughed nervously, and since his career preparation course hadn't prepared him for this scenario, he just walked away with hook in hand. He went to the bathroom since his bladder was about to burst by this point. Immediately after the bathroom, Alex simply walked to the end of the hallway, into the stairwell, down the stairs, and out the door, never to return to this particular job again.

Zap Escapes the Interrogator

    Zap ran through the hallway, snapping sparks at all the enemies that approached him, setting each one ablaze in the process. They'd figure it out eventually. Each snap created a spark from his fingers, and he could direct it towards foes.
    They did figure it out eventually, and Zap soon found himself bound, fingers forced wide so he couldn't ignite any of them. He then found himself tied up in a room, drenched in some liquid. Gasoline. He was left unbound in here. There was no way he could escape without taking himself out in the process. Maybe that's what he'd have to do.
    A little while later, the interrogator entered the room. He wore a flame retardant suit, just to be safe.  He asked a series of questions that Zap hardly listened to. Figuring out how to escape was far more pressing.
    Zap noticed the door was left slightly ajar, and he immediately formulated a plan. Fortunately for Zap, the minions assumed he could only spark regular sparks and catch things on fire. That's not how his powers worked, though. What Zap decided to do was snap the interrogator frozen solid and dash out the exit, and then immediately switch back to fire sparks to deal with any more threats.
    His plan worked flawlessly, and he soon found himself running out from the secret base's front door and calling in for pickup.
    By the time the interrogator had thawed, and he and his team were running out the door, Zap was being airlifted up and away. He gave one final snap to them all, blinding them with a flash of light, and hiding any further information about their lost hostage.

The Elephant and the Lion

    "I'll give you a dollar if you leave me alone!" cried the elephant, but the lion simply replied, "What need have I for a dollar?"

    The elephant shrugged and said, "the humans seem fond of them."

    "I am no human, though, am I?" The lion answered and then laughed a deep guttural laugh.

    The elephant retreated, whimpering as the lion slowly encroached further and further into the elephant's radius of comfort. Finally, when it seemed the lion could get no nearer, the elephant let out a deafening trumpet, startling the lion so much that he leapt into the air with a primal leap and began hissing at his surroundings.

    The elephant began to laugh, and after seeing the lion in such a vulnerable state, he simply walked away, shaking his tail at the cat. The lion sulked back to his pride where all the lionesses rolled on the ground laughing at him. The mockery continued for weeks afterward, and the lion never bothered the elephant again.

Alfred Snaggletooth

    Alfred Snaggletooth lurked around the corner, waiting to pounce on the children walking into school to take their lunch money. The children arrived, and just before he pounced, Principal Smileygrin came up behind him and bopped him on the head with an umbrella, saying "not again, Snaggletooth, get outta here!" And Alfred Snaggletooth went high-legged tip-toeing away, rubbing his head where the umbrella hit.

Taction and the Boredom Engine

    Taction reviewed the boredom engine plans carefully. "Yes, this will work perfectly" he said to his assistant, Grabby.  "Imagine when this is complete. The boredom of every history student and office worker, siphoned off and injected directly into this engine. It will truly be world changing."

    Grabby stood there proudly, and as the final inspection completed, Taction gave the word to begin the test flight.

    Grabby smashed the ignition button and the engine roared to life. The hundreds of inspectors standing around below immediately became much more animated, and Taction looked over them with suspicious eyes. He made a note to review worker efficiency before resuming his attention to the marvel hovering before them.

    Eager to experience its full capabilities, he beckoned Grabby to follow him into the cockpit, where they buckled themselves in and opened the hangar canopy. The aptly named Brainswept Fuzz rose into the sky, and blasted off across the continent, feeding off the boredom of all those it passed below.

    Taction whooped in excitement, and Grabby grabbed the hand holds on either side of his seat; he wasn't used to flying, let alone flying this fast. Forty-five minutes later, the craft returned to the hangar and landed. Taction exited the craft with Grabby, who was quite nauseous, and deemed the test flight a success. He approved the mass construction and distribution of the craft to all invested parties, before a later release to the general public.

    Cheers erupted from the inspectors, and various shareholders sitting in the boardroom behind them, and Taction felt a wave of satisfaction, then relief, as his largest project to date was finally complete.

Cylex's Return From His Nuclear Downfall

    "Not the Radioactive Wave!" Cylex said as he fell backward from the nuclear precipice, on which Dr. Netic had him contained for the past eight hours. The evil cyber lord held him there, exposing him to highly lethal amounts of radiation, before shoving Cylex off, into the Nuclear Void. As he was falling, Cylex stared up, and behind the leer of Dr. Netic, he saw the ceiling glowing an unnatural green. It grew brighter and brighter, nearly ready to fire at the prisoner.

    An instant before it did fire, though, a crash came through one of the windows, and down Retrair flew into the Nuclear void. He gripped Cylex and immediately engaged an anti-dose field. This countered all the radiation Cylex had received and protected them both from the Radioactive Wave that fired on them.

    Dr. Netic gasped in shock and cursed the wretched animal. Retrair flew himself and Cylex back up the shaft, and Cylex immediately landed releasing an electrowave right at his nemesis' heart. With his heart encased in an electric field, Dr. Netic was prevented from utilizing any further radioactive power. Cylex thanked Retrair for saving him and begin pondering his next steps.

A race Between Kythe and Corona

    Kythe was an obnoxious kid who loved the attention he received from bothering other kids. Usually the girls. Specifically, Corona, the beautiful girl in his class who had a strange way of melting the snow where she walked, and similarly his heart when he saw her. But he would never let her know that.

    He made sure of this by routinely throwing snowballs at her when at school and playing any number of other pranks at other times. Her temper was quick, but she was also quick to recover. Usually with the help of her friends. Typically, with the help of her best friend Kimberly.

    Kythe made sure to face the other kids in school in snowboard races often. This gave him a chance to pick on Corona without risk of formal consequences, which he risked every time he targeted her at school. Their races allowed them to use various non-harmful weapons or powers to gain an advantage against the other racers, and Kythe was quite adept at these despite seeming like an untalented goof elsewhere.

    One day after school Kythe was being particularly bothersome, and Corona burst out in anger "Meet me on the slopes you jerk, before I crush your face!"

    Kythe's eyes went wide; he'd never seen her that angry before. Still, a challenge was a challenge, so he went to the ski slopes where Corona and Kimberly were waiting. The two racers lined up, and Kimberly began the countdown. On "Go" Kythe and Corona leaped forward, and Corona quickly gained the lead. Kythe chased her for some time, carving back and forth down the mountain before picking up some snowballs, his favorite. He got within range, and he threw them at her. Two missed, and Corona caught the third one. Worry filled Kythe at this sight, which soon turned white as she hit him in the face with the snowball she'd caught.

    Kythe was mad now, and as much as he liked having fun, he did not want to lose. Determined, he focused harder on his stance and regained his tail on Corona. Coming up right behind her, he started slipping; he was snowboarding on ice and couldn't carve. Behind her, Corona left a trail of ice, causing Kythe to shift his trail on her, crossing her ice path back and forth rather than snowboarding right on it.

    The finish line was in sight now, and Kythe squatted, trying to decrease his air resistance. Corona was too far ahead, and Kythe couldn't gain enough speed though, so before long she crossed the finish line.

    When he crossed behind her, she gave him a smug look, then took a lift car by herself back to the top.  His frustration at losing disappeared quickly after that look she gave him. Losing was worth her attention.