Assaulted by Snide Robert

    Snide Robert crept along the side of the decrepit office building in a way that sent the snakes shedding out of their skin prematurely. The lurker spotted his victim -- an old lady watching her grandson as they returned from the grocery store -- approaching his spot. When she did, he leaped out in front of her like an overeager lion cub. He stumbled onto his face but recovered quickly enough to deliver the jeer he toiled to conjure.

    "You're a mean Decepticon and I hope Optimus Prime accidentally runs you over!" he yelled, then ran ahead of her toward the next intersection to avoid her response.

    "Robert, get back here or you will get run over!" she replied

    Robert hesitated, then returned to the old lady, covering his ears with his hands.

    "Young man, that was incredibly dangerous. I know you're upset that you didn't get a toy at the store, but you must pay attention!"

    Remaining defiant, Robert continued to hold his hands to his ears, staring at his grandmother in hopes of willing her out of existence. Recognizing he wasn't actually upset about the toy he didn't get, she bent down and met his eyes.

    "Is it hard when Mommy is gone?" She asked.

    Tears welled in Robert's eyes. His lips quivered, and he nodded in response to her question. Then he began sobbing uncontrollably and ran to embrace his grandmother, who equally reciprocated the gesture.

    "I know honey, it's hard when she's gone for so long during the day. It won't be forever, she just got a new job, and I bet soon we'll be able to afford that toy you wanted. How about we set a goal with her when she returns home?"
    Robert released his grip. "What kind of goal?"

    "How about when we have enough money left over after rent is paid, we can celebrate as a family by getting that toy? What was it called?"

    Gaping at the possibility. "The Optimus Prime Power Shifter! Really Grandma, can we?"

    Now laughing, Grandma replied "We'll see, we'll see! It might take some time, but I think your mother will love that idea. If you can try your best to behave until then, I don't see why not!"

    Robert stood there grinning, but then his face grew sorrowful. "I'm sorry for calling you a Decepticon, Grandma. And for running away."
    Understanding his frustration, she replied "I forgive you. Can we be good from now on? Maybe we can watch a movie when we get home?"

    "Yeah! Transformers?"

    Grandma sighed. "You really like that movie, don't you? Alrighty, we can watch Transformers. Again."

    Robert skipped alongside his Grandma back home with new confidence. "Which one is Opticus Prime again?" his Grandma asked.

    "It's OPTIMUS Prime, Grandma. He's the red and blue one who transforms into a truck."

    "Oh right, Optimus." She said, slowly pushing her cart back home along the bumpy sidewalk.