Revenge Against the Despicable Dingo

    Carol the Capybara despised eating cabbage, but that's all her captor, Despicable Dingo, would feed her. Every day Dingo would strut up to the cage, bop it with his rear to open the door, and toss in some old cabbage heads. When Carol tried to escape through the door, Dingo slammed it in her face. Every time.

    Well Carol was tired of being held captive, and she got the impression that Despicable Dingo wasn't too bright. She formed a plan to execute during the next feeding time. If done right, hopefully she could escape this miserable fate.

    The next morning when the dreadful Dingo approached the cage, he noticed the cabbage hadn't been eaten. In fact, it seemed like the cabbage had actually grown in size. Dingo came to one conclusion: he had discovered a magical cabbage!

    Dingo unlocked the cage door and swung it open, then entered with his mind full of greed. As soon as he came close enough to the disguise, Carol burst out from the cabbage leaves in which she'd covered herself, and karate kicked the despicable dog in the face. He winced and whimpered, covering his nose with his paws.

    This gave Carol just enough time to dash out the open door and slam it back shut on the villain. She locked it with a bop from her own rear, then strutted off to freedom. When Despicable Dingo realized what had happened, he snarled and barked and rattled the cage in all directions, but the door would not budge.

    Carol wasn't a heartless capybara, though, so she returned with food for the animal. She, however, wasn't a fool, and wouldn't open the door to feed him. Instead of cabbage for which she'd need to open the door to feed Dingo, she brought brussels sprouts, which would easily fit through the holes in the cage.

    To cook the irony in a little of its own fat, she shoved the brussels sprout stem through one of the holes, poking Dingo right in the face. As it passed through the hole, the mesh stripped each of the sprouts off from the stem, dropping them in a pile right in front of the door, just within reach of Dingo's toes. With patience and precision, he'd be able to snag one at a time, hopefully before they spoiled.

    This time, Carol strutted off for good. She found a surfboard that had washed ashore, nudged it into the ocean, then caught a passing wave on the way to the mainland, and bid Despicable Dingo farewell. She now lives her life as a successful businesscapybara, and donates much of her profits to freeing captive capybaras around the world.