Mayonnaise-Mouth Martha

    There were two things Rhonda despised more than anything else: mayonnaise and open-mouth chewers. Unfortunately for her, on an otherwise wonderful day, she found only one open seat on the bus to work, and that seat was right next to Mayonnaise-Mouth Martha. Rhonda couldn't understand the famous internet personality's sensation, all she did was yammer on about shoes and various vanity products.

    Martha obviously followed the pseudo-science trend that mayonnaise was good for you inside and out, even though it had been scientifically to be exactly the opposite, and it was positively disgusting. That didn't stop Martha, though. Not on her channel, and certainly not on the bus.

    Rhonda braced herself and sat next to Martha; the bus wouldn't move until everyone was seated, and Rhonda had received enough looks while she was waiting to decide if she should sit or take a different bus. The doors eventually closed, and her decision was made for her. Exiting and taking a different means to work would have been better.

    As soon as Rhonda sat down, Martha turned to her and began explaining, with a mouthful of mayonnaise -- she had just taken her morning mayonnaise health dose -- the benefits of mayonnaise on your skin and in your hair. Rhonda shuddered and gagged. Her stop was still five blocks away, but it didn't matter, she had to get off the bus.

    Rhonda yanked the emergency stop line, ran to the front and down the stairs. She squeezed through the doors before they were fully open, desperate to remove herself from that dreaded person.

    The next five blocks fortunately gave Rhonda the time she needed to decompress from that agonizing bus ride. When she arrived at her office, she felt refreshed, eager to improve other's lives with Healthy Vibes Quartz TM. As she entered the building, a familiar mashing sound came from the broken-down bus she had exited five blocks back.

    Mayonnaise-Mouth Martha came strutting up behind her, and Rhonda cringed. "Oh ngmy ngosh! --mlep-- lyou're the ngirl thfrom the mbuss!"

    "Oh... Hi again Martha... What brings you to this section of town?"

    Martha gasped, nearly choking. "Ndidn't ngyou thsee ngmy mlatest posht? --mlep-- I'm mbringing ngmy health exshperiencshe to Gnew Vipes Quartzsh! Whe'll Whorkg Whondersh ngtogether, Rhonda!" Martha said, brushing Rhonda's arm with a significantly mayonnaise-covered hand.

    Rhonda laughed, then immediately left the building. She found the nearest dumpster and jumped in to try and remove the filth from her arm. Good Vibes Quartz would have to find a new product specialist. Maybe becoming a fitness instructor would be a nice change of pace?