This is a story about Gnarly Charlie, who spent his days surfing the gnarliest waves on the coast. Charlie wasn't always gnarly, in fact when he was younger, he was the exact opposite of gnarly; he was a scrub. Wearing his shoes and socks all over the beach, lathered up in extra-strength sunscreen, Charlie was a total dweeb and all the kids made sure he knew it. All the cool kids had their surfboards and flip flops, and were crispy golden-brown. The day he had a milkshake dumped on his head was the day he decided not to be a scrub anymore.
Charlie went down to the local surf shop and politely asked for their best surfboard. The store workers laughed in his face and told him to go along his way, but Charlie stood firm in his request. The laughter died down, and eventually they brought out the RiptideX, the gnarliest surfboard made for the gnarliest waves. Charlie whipped out his parent's diamond credit card, swiped it, and told them to keep the change. The employees exchanged glances, and Charlie was out the door before they could respond.
From then on, the only thing Charlie did besides eat, sleep, and play Magic the Gathering, was surf. He surfed in the sun, he surfed in the rain. Snow, sleet, hurricanes, and tsunamis could not stop Charlie from surfing. Eventually, all the cool kids noticed how well Charlie could shred, and it was after he nailed a particularly gnarly wave that they named him Gnarly Charlie. He was finally accepted by the cool kids. But it wasn't enough for Charlie.
The boy continued surfing until he was the best in the town. Then the best on the coast, and eventually the best in the world. But it still wasn't enough for Charlie. He continued his surfing, pushing his limits, always with the mockery he faced as a kid in the back of his mind.
He had perfected the sport; his skills were unmatched by any other human. Seeking another challenge, he ventured out during a treacherous thunderstorm.
As Charlie was wading in the ocean, waiting for a wave worthy of being surfed by him, lighting struck in the distance. A giant wave, taller than a city, appeared on the horizon. This was the One. As the wave approached, lighting struck again, this time on the wave itself, right in front of Charlie. Then a figure bubbled out from the wave. It was Poseidon himself. but Charlie wasn't afraid. Poseidon raised his eyebrow, then nodded.
The god caught the wave on his trident, and stood on top, eager to make quick work of this arrogant human. Charlie likewise caught the wave on his RiptideX, and the two beings faced off on the Wave of Terror. The world gathered around to witness the competition, and Poseidon glowed in nautical wonder, while Charlie himself seemed to begin glowing himself.
Poseidon carved hard to knock Charlie into the deep, but he easily dodged thanks to his RiptideX. As Poseidon carved back to regain his claim on the wave, Charlie descended quickly, carved in front of the god, then up in front, launching out of the air and spinning with a flourish.
Lightning struck him in mid-air, and when he landed once again behind Poseidon, he was clad in aquamarine scale mail. He had pearlescent bracers and greaves, and a golden, shell-adorned helmet. Charlie wielded a staff of water and lighting; he held an electric waterspout in his hands. Charlie had claimed the sea as his own.
Poseidon furrowed his brow at the challenge and doubled down in his attempt to quell this foul human. But it was too late, Charlie directed hit RiptideX right toward Poseidon's chest, and when he struck, Poseidon's regal attire shattered, and glimmers of divine nautical garments fluttered across the globe.
Posiedon cried out before descending to the deep, and Charlie commanded the wave to subside. He landed ashore to cheers, and all the cool kids went over to tell him how cool he was. Charlie paid no attention to them, and instead walked straight up to the mayor's mansion, picked him up, and threw him onto the beach. Charlie constructed a fine sand castle for the mayor to reside, while he transformed the mansion itself into a royal nautical palace, from whence he could rule the seas. He made all the cool kids his servants, and from then on Gnarly Charlie surfed the world, enforcing his new ocean order, and played Magic the Gathering.
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