The Happy Toads

    This nice thing about the happy toads is that when they come out to play in the rain, they simply return to their shape after being stepped on. Happy toads and children alike love to play in the rain, so when they all come out to splash and dance, the kids inevitably step on them, squishing them flat under their feet. As soon as they lift their feet though, the happy toads pop back into form and continue hopping and splashing about. It's of course no mystery how the game of toadsketball originated.

The Moldy Orange

    A moldy orange sat on the desk. It was passed by many people and never picked up. As the weeks went on, the mold consumed more and more of the orange. Eventually the peel could no longer contain the slimy interior, which spilled out across the desk. Free to the air, the slime was further consumed by mold until the orange in its entirety was no more, leaving only a dry moldy dust. Eventually, a particularly drafty person walked by, sending the mold spores sailing along his wake, in search of a new orange.

The Gateway Crown

    The ground trembled from the meteor impact the next city over.

    "C'mon kids, into the bunker" Mrs. Shuffluffle said, leading the fifth graders into the cavern. The impacts didn't usually occur in bunches, but after the leveling of Archway, the rest of Eremone didn't take chances.

    The caverns were protective enough, and the kids didn't know otherwise. Well most of them. Three particularly insightful children had inquired Mrs. Shuffluffle about the realistic protection a cavern could provide from a meteor impact, and she simply had to shush them. Not to omit the truth, but to keep their minds at ease.

    They could still do their lessons in the cavern, and she did her best to make it an adventure each time. The lantern glow created the perfect atmosphere for the kids to explore ancient ruins or creep through a spooky graveyard. As the frequency of the impacts increased, though, the effects lasted shorter, and the kids began to grow increasingly anxious about the state of the world.

    She couldn't keep the truth from these children forever. Even the oblivious ones would begin to wonder what was actually going on. Safety of the children was a high priority, but these are fifth graders. Certainly they were capable of helping their city, their country, their planet.

    Maybe it was time to stop playing pretend. Maybe they ought to know about the Gateway Crown. Eremone would need more Celestially Gilt soon, and their age restriction wouldn't last much longer. Better to prepare them beforehand then send them into battle unprepared.

Prospecting the Ringed Giant

    Saturn hovered high in the sky, an unremarkable sphere. Cosmilda had spent the last several hours measuring the light intensity of the rings, and temperature changes of the ice. Those were her on-duty objectives, but she'd set up experiments to measure the gravimagical energy coming from the planet's core for herself.

    That was her real purpose for being here. Cosmilda was short of cash, so running mundane science experiments on various moons were her way of navigating the solar system within budget. Eventually she'd be able to afford a fast enough broom to be able to travel among the planets on her own, but until then it was taking measurements for various organizations. She didn't know enough about the gravimagical potential of each planet yet anyway, so there was no rush.

    Cosmilda was especially interested in Saturn, as dull as it was to observe, because only a high level of gravimagical energy could explain the structure and stability of the rings. Scientists had their own theories, but you know how scientists are. . .

    As her "workday" ended, the witch went to retrieve her cauldron while she let her official instruments run on idle. An eldritch boil began over the cosmic fire Cosmilda set, and as it bubbled, the witch waved her wand about, inspecting the planet's gravimagical potential. The faceplate made the process cumbersome, but until Cosmilda could tap the gravimagical wells, she needed to save her magic for the prospecting.

    Her results were consistent with previous measurements yet again, and she grew more confident that starting with Saturn would be her best option for a large initial gravimagical yield. The possible destabilization of the rings and moons would give the scientists plenty to occupy themselves.

    Cosmilda wanted that new broom, but patience would serve her. First, she needed to buy the gravimagical harvesting equipment, siphon the energy from the dull planet, and once she turned in her results from this experiment, that paycheck should be enough for a new broom. A gravimagical monopoly on this system was almost hers, as long as she could hold her patience a little bit longer.

Brad the Bully

    "Go home Brad, we're playing here!" said Danny to the playground bully. Brad stood there with his arms crossed, unmoving.
    "Either you play tag with me, or I'm gonna shove you in the trash can" Brad replied.

    He uncrossed his arms and prepared to chase Danny and the other boys. They understood Brad's message: they were playing tag whether they wanted to or not. 
    They'd been preparing for this though, and after a quick nod to each other, they darted off in different directions and Brad gave chase. Of course he targeted Danny who led him just as planned around the playground. He found the trash cans on the far side and spied the rest of the gang waiting through the treeline.
    Danny was losing stamina, but the other kids came to his rescue. Just as Brad was about to snag him, the other boys came up behind him, tackled him and grabbed his limbs. They carried him flailing to the trash can, and before they tossed him in, he shouted

    "Mercy!" But through the flailing and his exertion it sounded like "Merci!" And since all the other kids besides Danny were French, they snickered and tossed him in the trash can.
    To this day Brad lives in that trash can, eating all the scraps that come his way, which fortunately for him are frequently baguette ends and stinky cheese. He tried to continue playing tag, but he kept tripping in the trash can, and soon gave up on that endeavor. Brad learned the hard way not to mess with Danny and the French kids.  

The Thunderbean

    Upon the stormy pedestal hovered the powerful Thunderbean. Lance Flatu approached it from the winding stairs below. He'd been chosen by the Stormflatus, the governing body of the Windblown people, to consume the Thunderbean. It's the only way they could defend themselves from the Fragrant Fiend invasion.
Lance stood before the Thunderbean, said the windy words, and was granted wind passage. The chosen Windblown grasped the mighty bean, and in one bite, consumed it and all the power it contained. Immediately, lighting struck him from the maelstrom above, and Lance began sparking from storm power.
    The Fragrant Fiends were charging with their full might by now, and Lance had not a moment left to spare. He channeled his energy and shot off from the peak with an electric toot, and landed in the middle of the enemy, sending them flying backwards with a thunderclap.
    They cowered before him at seeing his awesome power, and all but the strongest of them refused to flee. For the remaining, Lance once again channeled his energy, and then released a flatus of furry, knocking the wind from their lungs and out their rears. They lay there quaking, and once they could get a breath, the stood up and fled.
    The Windblown people were safe, free from the Fragrant Feinds for some time. They named Lance their champion, and he remained among them, keeping them safe from enemies, allowing their people to flourish and advance as a civilization. To this day, the legend of Lance the Whirlwind Toot is known throughout the world, and none dare to challenge the Windblown, lest they bring Lance's fury upon them.

Thursday Rolls

    Thursday Rolls makes the best rolls in town. They make sweet rolls, sourdough rolls, cinnamon rolls, and more, but only on Thursday. It's a strange business model, but apparently it works.
    Every Thursday a line of customers extends three blocks from the doors. John Bread opens the store exactly at eight in the morning, and lets one customer in at a time. When they leave, it's clear they're content, and that alone speaks for the quality of the rolls.
    There are plenty of other bakeries in town, but Thursday Rolls has captured its customer base and held onto them tightly. Word on the street is Wednesday Rolls is opening up a couple doors down. They're in for a surprise. Anyone who's ever seen John Bread fight wouldn't dare risk a move like that. There's a reason he keeps a barrel of stale baguettes behind the counter.

On the Way Home From the Convention

    Dad was mad again. He didn't say anything, but everyone could feel it in the car. The rain on the windows brought a welcome interruption; something to listen to as we tried to remain silent and perfectly still. None of us wanted to go with him, but we knew it was either make him mad then, or wait until he was mad later, and while later was usually worse, at least there was a chance it wouldn't be directed at you.

    We all knew the code, so without arguing we all got dressed and into the car. The three of us in the back were able to secretly confide in each other in the brief time while mom was finishing the last touches on dad's outfit. Dad was in a good mood in his anticipation of the day, so as long as he didn't overhear us, we were safe. In the car though, he'd hear everything. Or at least he'd hear us whispering, and that would make him mad. So, silence it was.

    Now we're driving back home, and of course he's mad, but at least once we're home, we can escape to our rooms, go to sleep and try again tomorrow. I don't know why this convention is always so important to him, all the entrants look exactly the same; the ones done well anyway. The ones done poorly are at least something to laugh about between us three. But every July, dad gets his hopes up in winning the contest, and every year there's apparently someone dressed redder, and with a whiter beard than he. I don't get it, but at least we're almost home.

Ramble Rhonda

    Ramble Rhonda sat at the desk at the park rambling on to any and all strangers that wandered by. One unfortunate timid man was caught by her chattering and was unable to escape. Passersby gave him a glance, some hesitated and considered helping, but quickly realized it'd be them that'd be caught by Rhonda. No, better to let this one man suffer so the rest of society could continue.

    The young man sat there for the rest of his life, unable to bring himself to feel rude and depart the woman. Decades went on, and Rhonda didn't stop talking once. The man grew hunched and his hair grew long and gray. New generations came and went, and still no one stopped to relieve the man of his monologic prison.

    When the man passed away, they couldn't retrieve his body, lest someone else be caught by Rhonda. Instead they build a giant mausoleum surrounding Rhonda and the remains of the man. They built the walls far enough away from them that no one would be caught by the rambling woman. To this day it's said you can still hear her talking inside if you press your ear against the wall. Most choose not to.

The Slopfest Championship

A ball of slime smacked Oogle in the face, nearly sending him to the slime pit in which the players waded. He kept his footing, though, and grabbed a ball of slime himself. Uckmuck had just hidden out of view, but Oogle managed to catch the faintest glimpse of which barrier he'd hid behind. Making sure to watch out for the other enemy teammates, Oogle tossed the glob of slime high into the air above where he suspected Uckmuck to be hiding.

    He wanted to watch the slop land on his rival, but he knew the others would be targeting him too, so he found cover himself. Moments later Glubble and Ickslick joined Oogle, winded from their own escapes.

    "They've got us pinned down now, Oogs. I think that's game for us." Glubble said.

    "Well, there's one option, Glub." Ickslick replied.

    Glubble gave a moment's thought to what his teammate said, then made an incredulous face. "We aren't going to snag the Pristine Ring without getting hit, especially not from here."

    "No. Not without at least one of us getting hit." Oogle said. "But Ickie's right, that's our only chance to win, and we have to take it. The question is, who volunteers to take slime?"

    The three looked at each other, then Ickslick and Glubble nodded at each other. "We'll take it," they said in unison.

    "Oogs, you're the fastest, even in the slop. The ring's right up the ramp there. If we can hit at least one of them before they hit one of us on the way up, likewise on the way back, and dodge the rest until we reclaim the ring, we'll win this one." Ickslick said.

    Oogle nodded. He knew it was the truth, so he agreed, and the three prepared to execute their plan.

A ball of slime sped past Glubble's head as he peered out to inspect the surroundings. They decided to feint the other direction, then dart out the way they inspected. The feint worked, buying them precious moments to set their bearing and gain momentum through the slop. The three each fired slime balls at the opposing team as they ran, but once they were close enough to the ramp, Oogle set his full attention on the Pristine Ring shimmering and hovering at the top.

    Miraculously they made it to the ramp without being hit, and Oogle snatched the ring.

    They kept their excitement down as they turned around and sped back down the ramp. Slime balls came flying at them once again. They entered back into the slop, and the change in momentum disrupted Oogle enough that the enemy was able to get a good aim on him. Before he knew what had happened, Oogle was flying back into the slop from another slime ball to the face. The Pristine Ring flew into the air. Glubble and Ickslick hesitated; this wasn't part of the plan. They were both ready to sacrifice themselves to Oogle could claim victory for their team.

    Well, the plan changed. Ickslick shook out of his stupor and snatched the ring, then took off running towards their base. Glubble snapped out of it himself and sped to keep pace with his remaining teammate.

    Slime balls whizzed past them, but Glubble spotted Uckmuck sneaking up ahead by their base. He was preparing to take Ickslick down from the front.

    "Not on my watch" Glubble muttered. He grabbed some slime and ran as fast as he could up ahead. Uckmuck's slime was already heading straight for Ickslick's face. Ickslick himself was so focused on the goal itself that he didn't see Uckmuck.

    Glubble launched the slime toward Uckmuck as he jumped in front of Ickslick to take the slime. It hit Glubble right in the chest, knocking him down to the slop, and Ickslick nearly tripped over him, but he kept his footing. Ickslick glanced at Glubble, hesitating, but Glubble gestured him forward. The ring bearer turned back and noticed Uckmuck going down from Glubbles slime. Now was his chance.

    Ickslick ignored his burning quads. He ran as fast as he possibly could, and as he crossed Uckmuck slowly recovering from the hit, he dove to hang the ring. Uckmuck grabbed Ickslick's leg, pulling him back, but Ickslick had already released the ring. He splatted down to the ground. He quickly turned to spot the ring, shoving Uckmuck aside.

    He was soon knocked back into the slop when Glubble and Oogle tackled him in joy. The Pristine Ring landed on the Immaculate Spire. Team Slockstickle won the Slopfest Tournament, while team Mucklesluck would be sent home with a loss in the championship game.

    Uckmuck sauntered up to Oogle, clearly disheartened. He overcame his pride, though, and gave Oogle a good congratulatory handshake, then departed the arena with his own team. Oogle and Glubble raised Ickslick up on their shoulders, cheering him on as he raised the Sloppy Cup in the air in victory.

The Old Hitchhiker

    The hitchhiker in the back of Ralph's truck continued to press his ever-smiling fact against the window.

    "North" he'd told Ralph, nothing else, and as soon as he climbed into the truck bed, Ralph regretted his decision.

    He passed his own destination miles ago, but every time he looked in his mirror, that face continued to stare at him. Not blinking, always smiling. And Ralph kept driving north. When would this guy get off?

Eventually as Ralph continued down the highway, he found the courage to pull over and tell the man to get off. The man brought a pack with him, and Ralph didn't know what it contained. With a stare like that, though, the nervous chauffeur prepared for dangerous conflict. He stopped the vehicle on the side of the road, opened the door, and prepared to defend himself as best as he could.

    Unable to keep his composure, he blurted out "alright buddy, you need to get out right now!" as he passed the side of the truck, expecting the same sinister grin to meet him.

    Instead the man jolted up from his slumber, startled at the outburst. A kind face peered over, and apologized to Ralph. "I'm so sorry to have been a bother sir! I appreciate the lift this far, I'll find the rest of my way to Dorth and let you go, you've been so kind."

    Wait a minute. Dorth? That's where Ralph was in fact headed, and the town he'd passed miles ago. He assumed the man had a cold and was being short with him. And what about the kindly face? There was nothing sinister about this man's countenance.

    The man shuffled off the truck bed, and when his bag plopped down on the ground, his fishing pole swished to the side, from which dangled two bobbers and a white striped lure. Pressed against the glass, with the man's scraggly hair behind, they made a creepy face that always smiled and never blinked.

    Ralph realized his misunderstanding, and apologized to the hitchhiker. "You said Dorth didn't you?"

    "Well, yes, that's where I needs t'be a goin'. Again I thank you for taking me this far, I'll make the rest of the way on my own."

    "It was a misunderstanding on my part, please, we passed Dorth several miles back, if you climb back in, I'll take you there with some daylight left to spare."

    The man shrugged, thanked Ralph and climbed back in. Ralph started the vehicle, turned around, and began the journey back to Dorth. He looked in his mirror again, and the same creepy face formed from the fishing tackle. The sight still caused some discomfort, but Ralph was glad to have realized his mistake.

    They soon arrived back at Dorth, and Ralph found a spot to park and let the man off. As he pulled in, he glanced back just to reassure himself, and like he'd already confirmed, it was just tackle. Ralph shook his head, laughing to himself, then turned off the engine.

    The tired driver helped the kind man out from the back of the truck and gave him directions to lodging and a place to eat. The old man thanked Ralph and began walking on his way. Ralph gave one last glance at the man before driving to his own home, and the tackle still made that face. He sighed, laughing to himself at the ridiculous misunderstanding, and as he did, he swore the face blinked, then met his gaze directly, holding it until the man disappeared into the night.

Talonfierce vs the Terrible Yolkid

    Talonfierce stood before the terrible Yolklid, wielding his mighty plume, intent on destroying the mathemeggtician and his devious proofs. The champion leapt off of the ledge and glided down to meet his foe.

    As he did, Yolklid belched out several geometric eggs which cracked in mid-air and assaulted Talonfierce with various tangents and bisectors. They were no match for the plumed warrior, though. He sliced through the geometric jaunts with ease, and barrage after barrage from Yolklid did nothing to stop his coming attacker.

    Finally, Talonfierce reached Yolklid, and with the tenacity of a protective rooster, he beat the beast back and forth with his plume of power. Yolklid was defeated quickly, and Talonfierce served him sunny-side up, out through the volcano.

    He and his eggs of injustice landed on the top of the mountain, and ran all the way down to the townspeople, who rejoiced in Yolklid's defeat, and the bounty that followed. The praised Talonfierce as their hero, and they enjoyed his company for some time before he found a thermal and glided away to fight further injustice across the lands.

The Happy Birthday Dance

    The world renowned Birthday Dance has been a long-time tradition of the Earthen people. It became an established part of Earth culture two hundred years after the Happy Birthday song was well cemented as the song to be sung at every birthday occasion, regardless of the birthday celebrant's comfort with the song.
    Excitement for one's own birthday dropped significantly lower when the Birthday Dance was also integrated in the occasion. So much so in fact that diversion of attention from one's birthday likewise became a customary effort of the person during their birth month.

    Needless to say, such tactics usually fail, and to this day unfortunate souls endure dozens of people singing to them, while they hop up and down, spinning in circles, holding one leg and patting their head, all under the torturous gaze of the singers.

Mutiny of Captain Iggle

    "Get the squiggle worm you fools!" Captain Iggle shouted at the crew, who'd had enough of his demands.

    They tied him up, and when they spotted the squiggle worm, they tossed him overboard for the beast and took the ship for their own endeavors. The squiggle worm flicked Captain Iggle up with its tail, then spiraled up into the air and snatched him with his mouth, swallowing him while in one big gulp. The crew has no more ridiculous demands and instead took their new ship to the Sewing Isles, intent on becoming traveling tailors and seamstresses.

The Chipmunk

    "Go see the Chipmunk." Ace said.

    Rufus nodded his head and departed to the Chipmunk's lair. He found the large tree and descended down the hole at the base. A winding underground passage led Rufus to the Chipmunk's lair, where the Chipmunk himself lay drooling over empty walnut shells.
    Rufus procured three full walnuts from his pocket then kneeled down before the Chipmunk, waiting for the large man to acknowledge him. After several minutes the man stirred, and beckoned Rufus forwarded. Rufus laid the walnuts up on the Chipmunk's chest, and as he stepped away, the Chipmunk waved him away saying "you have my blessing."
    Rufus sighed in relief. He had permission to construct his home in the tree and form a better life for himself. Rufus had worked hard for those walnuts, and they paid off.

Gnarly Charlie

    This is a story about Gnarly Charlie, who spent his days surfing the gnarliest waves on the coast. Charlie wasn't always gnarly, in fact when he was younger, he was the exact opposite of gnarly; he was a scrub. Wearing his shoes and socks all over the beach, lathered up in extra-strength sunscreen, Charlie was a total dweeb and all the kids made sure he knew it. All the cool kids had their surfboards and flip flops, and were crispy golden-brown. The day he had a milkshake dumped on his head was the day he decided not to be a scrub anymore.

    Charlie went down to the local surf shop and politely asked for their best surfboard. The store workers laughed in his face and told him to go along his way, but Charlie stood firm in his request. The laughter died down, and eventually they brought out the RiptideX, the gnarliest surfboard made for the gnarliest waves. Charlie whipped out his parent's diamond credit card, swiped it, and told them to keep the change. The employees exchanged glances, and Charlie was out the door before they could respond.

    From then on, the only thing Charlie did besides eat, sleep, and play Magic the Gathering, was surf. He surfed in the sun, he surfed in the rain. Snow, sleet, hurricanes, and tsunamis could not stop Charlie from surfing. Eventually, all the cool kids noticed how well Charlie could shred, and it was after he nailed a particularly gnarly wave that they named him Gnarly Charlie. He was finally accepted by the cool kids. But it wasn't enough for Charlie.

    The boy continued surfing until he was the best in the town. Then the best on the coast, and eventually the best in the world. But it still wasn't enough for Charlie. He continued his surfing, pushing his limits, always with the mockery he faced as a kid in the back of his mind.

    He had perfected the sport; his skills were unmatched by any other human. Seeking another challenge, he ventured out during a treacherous thunderstorm.

    As Charlie was wading in the ocean, waiting for a wave worthy of being surfed by him, lighting struck in the distance. A giant wave, taller than a city, appeared on the horizon. This was the One. As the wave approached, lighting struck again, this time on the wave itself, right in front of Charlie. Then a figure bubbled out from the wave. It was Poseidon himself. but Charlie wasn't afraid. Poseidon raised his eyebrow, then nodded.

    The god caught the wave on his trident, and stood on top, eager to make quick work of this arrogant human. Charlie likewise caught the wave on his RiptideX, and the two beings faced off on the Wave of Terror. The world gathered around to witness the competition, and Poseidon glowed in nautical wonder, while Charlie himself seemed to begin glowing himself.

    Poseidon carved hard to knock Charlie into the deep, but he easily dodged thanks to his RiptideX. As Poseidon carved back to regain his claim on the wave, Charlie descended quickly, carved in front of the god, then up in front, launching out of the air and spinning with a flourish.

    Lightning struck him in mid-air, and when he landed once again behind Poseidon, he was clad in aquamarine scale mail. He had pearlescent bracers and greaves, and a golden, shell-adorned helmet. Charlie wielded a staff of water and lighting; he held an electric waterspout in his hands. Charlie had claimed the sea as his own.

    Poseidon furrowed his brow at the challenge and doubled down in his attempt to quell this foul human. But it was too late, Charlie directed hit RiptideX right toward Poseidon's chest, and when he struck, Poseidon's regal attire shattered, and glimmers of divine nautical garments fluttered across the globe.

    Posiedon cried out before descending to the deep, and Charlie commanded the wave to subside. He landed ashore to cheers, and all the cool kids went over to tell him how cool he was. Charlie paid no attention to them, and instead walked straight up to the mayor's mansion, picked him up, and threw him onto the beach. Charlie constructed a fine sand castle for the mayor to reside, while he transformed the mansion itself into a royal nautical palace, from whence he could rule the seas. He made all the cool kids his servants, and from then on Gnarly Charlie surfed the world, enforcing his new ocean order, and played Magic the Gathering.

Never Skip Leg Day

    Strong Bruno was working out one day when a giant impact outside shook the building. Through the windows he could see aliens creeping out from the crater, clearly intent on destroying humanity. This wasn't the most convenient time for an alien invasion; Bruno hadn't finished his squat sets -- he made sure never to skip leg day -- and he had foolishly left his fireblaster at home today. Well, there was a bare bar on the rack next to his, and that would have to do.

    Bruno snatched the bar and wielding it over his shoulder, ran out to face the aliens. When he arrived outside, he fortunately found that other people had likewise stepped up to the challenge. Clearly the old lady on the corner had just been baking -- she deftly deflected the aliens' shots with a cookie tray.

    Obviously, the dad next door to her had been struggling with some particle board furniture assembly, for he was also out smacking aliens with a set of semi-assembled planks. It looked unwieldy, but it clearly did the job, and who was Bruno to judge? He was out here with a weight bar.

    Well, no sense in letting all the other humans have all the fun. Bruno twirled the standard barbell in bo staff fashion and clonked three aliens in a row over their heads. They remained down. Bruno leapt from crag to crag of the impact crater, dodging blasts from the aliens weapons, and smacking down all that he targeted.

    He missed some, though, and when he realized he had a blaster to his back, he threw his hands up in surrender. The gun soon fell limp to the ground though as a cookie tray clanked to the ground just after. Bruno turned and the old lady saluted him, then beckoned her tray back.

    Bruno obliged but forgot his own strength after wielding the barbell so nimbly. The tray went flying straight towards the old lady's head, and if it weren't for the cumbersome joined planks of her neighbor's weapon, she would have joined the aliens among the casualties right there. The dad looked and Bruno and began to walk over, clearly intent on giving him a lecture about weapon safety, but he was spared the torture as the commander alien stepped out from the crater.

    The three humans looked at each other, nodded, then took battle stances. The commander launched a barrage of rockets at the three, but they hunkered down under the dad's half shelf, with the old lady's cookie tray blocking the front. After the barrage, the alien threw a giant bomb right for the three. Their last ploy wouldn't work against a weapon this big, but Bruno stepped out and wound up his barbell. The dad and old lady leaped back, and Bruno swung hard, sending the bomb back to the commander's face. It hit him right in the nose and blew him up, along with the ship.

    The humans had won the day, all because they immediately stopped what they were doing and responded to the call to action with what they had. Without words, the three fighters bid each other farewell and returned to their day. Bruno finished his squat sets, and on his way out kissed his hand and patted the sign on the wall that read "Remember, never skip leg day!"

Three Annoying Mosquitos

    There were three little mosquitos that lived in the garden, and they each liked to buzz around and annoy the gardeners, but they each liked to do it in a different way.

    The first liked to fly around the gardeners' faces, in and around their ears, and sometimes up their noses. The second liked to sneak around and make many little bites all over their bodies. The third liked to find a nice cozy spot on one gardener at a time and suck as much blood as it could, until he released as a red blob hovering around the plants.

    This one was splattered the soonest of the three, while the other two managed to evade swats for some time. In the end, they made the same fate as the third, but they all enjoyed their lives to the fullest extent that they could: annoying gardeners and drinking their blood.

Kimberly's Kinetic Ripple

    Kimberly was passed by Pleiades on the right, then by Kythe on the left. Brittany was close behind, and through friends in school, she couldn't let her pass as well. She leapt in the air and slammed down right as Brittany passed, sending her Kinetic Ripple across the ground, and knocking Brittany down to the side. Kimberly finished third in the race, and Brittany shot a snare of vines right at her as she finished fourth. The boys fell back laughing, and once Kimberly freed herself from the vines, she sent another Kinetic Ripple their way, slamming the earth into them.

Steel Umbrella

    Mist made sure to keep dry. Dampness would only slow her down, and she couldn't afford to slow down. So she'd navigate the catwalks with her Steel Umbrella deployed, keeping dry from the rain. The Rust was aware of her, but as long as she kept to herself, they left her alone. She's not one they wanted to get involved with. They'd heard too many stories of those that'd received her Steel Umbrella in response to their challenge.
    The Rust knew they couldn't leave her with that power, so they eventually sent armed busters to face her, but their weapons were no match for her Steel Umbrella. She'd either have it in front of her, blocking all the bullets before they knew they had pulled the trigger, or she'd have used the aerodynamics of the weapon to flip out and escape. That thing caught a surprising amount of air for what it was.
    When Mist realized the Rust was going on the offensive, she knew her only choice was to offend back. She sought confrontation, all while ensuring to stay dry.

    One particular day she spotted three unarmed guards patrolling a wide catwalk, and she leapt from up above, flipping in the air with her Steel Umbrella deployed. She retracted the weapon as she landed, rolled, and beat the three with it, sending them falling off the platform. The poor decoys.
    Shots rained down upon her, but she had her umbrella back up as soon as she finished the decoys. The shots ricocheted off of the canopy with a ping, which gave Mist an idea. But first, stay safe.

    She dodged and rolled forward during a lull in the shots, and when she spied the armed Rust, she threw her Steel Umbrella right at them, risking dampness upon herself. She climbed up to their platform and retrieved her weapon. It had hit one, and the others took cover, knowing her reputation. Cover didn't help, she found them each, and smacked them out and over the catwalk, sending a clear message to them and their organization not to mess with her, or her Steel Umbrella.

The Fall of Ocean Daniels

    Ocean Daniels was a devious son of a gun, but it was the attack on Captain Cannonblunder's ship that led to his demise. He climbed aboard the crazed pirate's ship with only a spear, thinking he could defeat the crew with advanced martial arts. When he hopped over the gunwale, though, Captain Cannonblunder was prepared and opens eight barrels of vicious baboons on the fool adventurer.
    The baboons picked him up and after tickling him for forty-five minutes straight, they tossed him overboard, snickering like cats. Captain Cannonblunder whistled, calling the baboons back to carry him to his quarters, and wait on him while he charted their next course. The remaining baboons that didn't fit in the captain's chambers were directed to man the ship and look out for more intruders. It was a good day to be a baboon on the Opposable Toe.

The Chemfiend's Attack on the Majestic Gardens

    "Bring it on you filthy chemfiend!" Roselia shouted as she stood alone in defense of her precious blooms. The noxious enemy approached quickly, dripping toxic drool from every crevice of its malformed body. With a devilish contortion it reeled, then blasted a smog of wilting fume from its gaping maw.

    Roselia summoned her royal petalguard with a flourish, and just before the smog reached her, dancing petals formed a giant shield around her and her precious blooms. The queen of the Majestic Gardens would not let her palace fall. Especially not to this foul creature.

    As the chemfiend prepared for another blast, Roselia summoned the power for a blow strong enough to hopefully rid her realm of this fiend for good. With another flourish, she conjured dazzling golden roses all around her, each with thorns like rapiers. The brightness alone staggered the enemy, and Roselia seized her opportunity. She cast the roses at the chemfiend, and each one slashed it a thousand times as it flew across it. Each cut released more and more smog, until the creature eventually deflated and dissipated from existence.

    Roselia recalled her roses, and with the chemfiend defeated, returned to tending her garden. She wasn't sure she'd be able to defend her palance alone next time. Hopefully the brilliant buds will have bloomed by then.

Glowshrub

    Glowshrub was a curious little tree sprite. He wandered between the willows wanting to learn as much as he could about plant life. His curiosity often caused himself and others trouble, though. As nimble as he was, he was frequently whacked in the face by a weeping willow tendril while it was explaining something to another. The place of grown trees was no place for a little tree sprite like Glowshrub.

    He was so fascinated by the size and beauty of the tree's though, and he was driven to learn what they could teach him. So, he continued venturing between the willows, becoming more agile day by day, until he was nimble enough to weave between them without worry.

    Soon he was no longer watching out for the whips of the willow, but instead circling its crown, perched at the top and listening intently to the willow's stories. Before long Glowshrub became a mature tree spirit, no longer a little sprite, easily knocked about by whips of the willow.

Frigegnma's Leg

    Acute frenetic convulsions struck Frigegnma's leg right as she pulled up to the drive-thru window to receive her food. The car lurched forward, then suddenly braked, then lurched forward again, and continued accelerating at various rates. Frigegnma did her best to control the vehicle; she kept it on the road, and generally steered in a safe direction. The highway would be best, she could accelerate without fear of hitting someone at a red light, so she steered toward the entrance ramp.

    Just as she began the ramp, her leg spasmed to the brake pedal, jolting the vehicle to a stop. Horns blared behind her.

    "I'm working on it!" Frigegnma yelled out the window. Her leg decided it liked the gas pedal again, and the car continued its way onto the highway. It continued for some time like that while the police gathered for their routine chase.

    Frigegnma had gotten to know most of the officer's quite well by now, and when they managed to secure the vehicle, control her leg, and cut the engine, they began a friendly conversation.

    "Which restaurant this time, Frigie?"

    "Oh, the usual -- Ow! -- Chicken a la Mode." Frigegnma replied as her leg forced its way into the steering wheel.

    The EMS arrived with injections to subdue her leg and nailed it on the first try. They too had plenty of practice with this particular moving target. When her leg finally agreed to cooperate, she bid farewell to the emergency crew, and returned to Chicken a la Mode for her meal. The emergency personnel wished her the best until next time, and the restaurant workers had her order waiting for when she arrived. God bless those patient staff!

Inca Cordova

    "Inca Cordova, Technology Specialist. Though he comes from humble roots, Inca has shown great prowess across the vast landscape that technology encompasses. From software development, hardware debugging and assembly, and networking and communications, Inca's background maps perfectly to the technological needs Icarus demands. How fortunate he and Milo hit it off so well during training. Their fields are tightly connected, and having crew members who are likewise so will further aid in the success of the Icarus project."

Milo Vitale

"Milo Vitale, Systems Specialist. The systems in place on the Solar Sixteen will be the lifeline for the crew until phase one is complete. We're pleased to have Milo on the team to keep these systems functional throughout the project's execution.

    "He holds two engineering degrees, Mechanical and Chemical, and his aptitude for physics, especially materials science, has been evident from a young age. Having been part of the prototype solarium production process, it's only natural that he'd end up on the Icarus 5 crew. His knowledge of the production equipment and process will be crucial aboard the platform, and the rest of the crew will be able to depend on him for any system malfunction that occurs."

Rick and the Chasmite Veins

    Rocks fell from the sheer cliff, burying Rick entirely. Once he overcame the initial panic of being trapped in a rocky tomb, he glanced around and started trying to think of any possible way to get himself out of his predicament. He was entirely immobile except for a small amount of movement in his digits. That wouldn't help.

    After some time alone with his thoughts, he noticed a faint bluish glow between the rocks. He stared at the glow and realized there were thin veins of chasmite strewn throughout the rubble. It was so small that he could only perceive it after his eyes had adjusted to the pure darkness. But yes, there was no mistaking it, this was in fact chasmite.

    Well Rick was in luck. Hopefully there was enough chasmite among the pile that he could draw sufficient chasma to free himself. Rick concentrated, sensing the chasmite veins with his mind, constructing a mental image of the network before he drew upon it. Once he was sure there was enough, he took what breath he could, then drew all of the chasma from the surrounding veins into his core.

    Rick began glowing with the same blue hue of the chasmite veins, which were now depleted. He had to use it quickly, or he himself would implode from the negative energy. Rick felt for gravity, then thought upward, and released the whole of the chasmic energy in one blast. A gaping hole appeared before him, and Rick winced at the sudden light. The chasmic blast he released negated all the rock above him. His arms and torso were free, and now he could dig himself out.

Planting Esmerelda

    Esmerelda picked another flower. Mrs. Gertrude told her to stop picking flowers, and that if she picked another one, she'd be punished. And since Esmerelda didn't obey, she chose punishment. Mrs. Gertrude hobbled out to the shed in the back and returned to the front yard donning gloves and with a shovel and pail in her hands.
    Mrs. Gertrude dug a hole right in the middle of her lawn, about as deep as half Esmerelda's height, and exactly Esmerelda's width. Then she tossed the shovel aside, heaved Esmerelda up above her head, then planted her straight into the hole. Despite flailing as hard as she could flail, Esmerelda could not shake Mrs. Gertrude's grip. She found herself stuck leg-deep in a hole in the middle of Mrs. Gertrude's lawn for all to see.

    "If you won't let me display my flowers for the neighbors, then you'll have to do!" Mrs. Gertrude said. And from that day on, instead of watering her flower bed, Mrs. Gertrude watered Esmerelda.

Dazzleclown the Savior

    A rainbow poof of glittery smoke exploded in where the prisoners were held. They'd lost all hope, but at the sight of the plume their hearts fluttered at the possibility thay they mighy be saved.
    "Everybody out. Quickly." a gruff voice spoke through the cloud.
    Without question, the prisoners moved through the smoke, out the door. The corridor was covered in colorful streaks. Once they had all exited the cell, a figure stepped out behind them. As they suspected, it was Dazzleclown. 
    Shots fired from down the hall. The guards had detected the intrusion and sounded the alarm. Dazzleclown put up a rainbow barrier, but it wouldn't hold long. He sent the prisoners the opposite direction, then quickly filled a balloon and released it at the guards. It whizzed and waved around down the corridor, and once it reached the guards, it exploded with sparkly delight.
    "That should buy us some time." Dazzleclown said. "Quick, let's go. I have a rendezvous just up ahead. We'll have to break through the ceiling."
    The escapees looked at each other, incredulous, but didn't waver. When Dazzleclown gave the order, they stopped, and he inflated another balloon. This time he tied it off and threw it at the ceiling. A moment later he yanked a scarf sticking out of his sleeve, and his afro expanded, protecting them all from the exploded debris.
    With a clear hole to exit through, the hero called his rendezvous on his Dazzlecomm. Seconds later, several bunches of helium balloons descended through the opening, weighed down with some hogtied guards from another section of the prison. He tied each escapee to two bunches of balloons to ensure buoyancy, then sent them up through the hole. Where they would end up was out of his control, but sometimes that's how justice goes.
    With all the prisoners freed, and seen safely out of the facility, Dazzleclown turned to leave the enemies with one last surprise before making his own departure. He took a spare red nose from his pocket, primed it, and tossed it back into the hole from which they'd all just flown out. He gave a tug on his own balloon bunch, and floated away, beholding terrified faces on the guards as they watched him leave, while they laid there helpless with a mysterious red nose blinking next to them.
    Now, quite high up, Dazzleclown saw a giant plume of rainbow smoke burst from the hole. Though not terribly destructive, they guards would face the repercussions of the event as fantastic clowns themselves. Next time they'll consider a little harder which side of justice they want to be on.

Mayonnaise-Mouth Martha

    There were two things Rhonda despised more than anything else: mayonnaise and open-mouth chewers. Unfortunately for her, on an otherwise wonderful day, she found only one open seat on the bus to work, and that seat was right next to Mayonnaise-Mouth Martha. Rhonda couldn't understand the famous internet personality's sensation, all she did was yammer on about shoes and various vanity products.

    Martha obviously followed the pseudo-science trend that mayonnaise was good for you inside and out, even though it had been scientifically to be exactly the opposite, and it was positively disgusting. That didn't stop Martha, though. Not on her channel, and certainly not on the bus.

    Rhonda braced herself and sat next to Martha; the bus wouldn't move until everyone was seated, and Rhonda had received enough looks while she was waiting to decide if she should sit or take a different bus. The doors eventually closed, and her decision was made for her. Exiting and taking a different means to work would have been better.

    As soon as Rhonda sat down, Martha turned to her and began explaining, with a mouthful of mayonnaise -- she had just taken her morning mayonnaise health dose -- the benefits of mayonnaise on your skin and in your hair. Rhonda shuddered and gagged. Her stop was still five blocks away, but it didn't matter, she had to get off the bus.

    Rhonda yanked the emergency stop line, ran to the front and down the stairs. She squeezed through the doors before they were fully open, desperate to remove herself from that dreaded person.

    The next five blocks fortunately gave Rhonda the time she needed to decompress from that agonizing bus ride. When she arrived at her office, she felt refreshed, eager to improve other's lives with Healthy Vibes Quartz TM. As she entered the building, a familiar mashing sound came from the broken-down bus she had exited five blocks back.

    Mayonnaise-Mouth Martha came strutting up behind her, and Rhonda cringed. "Oh ngmy ngosh! --mlep-- lyou're the ngirl thfrom the mbuss!"

    "Oh... Hi again Martha... What brings you to this section of town?"

    Martha gasped, nearly choking. "Ndidn't ngyou thsee ngmy mlatest posht? --mlep-- I'm mbringing ngmy health exshperiencshe to Gnew Vipes Quartzsh! Whe'll Whorkg Whondersh ngtogether, Rhonda!" Martha said, brushing Rhonda's arm with a significantly mayonnaise-covered hand.

    Rhonda laughed, then immediately left the building. She found the nearest dumpster and jumped in to try and remove the filth from her arm. Good Vibes Quartz would have to find a new product specialist. Maybe becoming a fitness instructor would be a nice change of pace?

The SPIN

    It'd been three years since the Supersonic Projectile Insertion Network (SPIN) had come online. For much of humanity's spacefaring time, stationary platform-based rockets were the only reliable method to insert payloads into space. Even when they'd reached the reusable rocket milestone, the cost per launch remained in the millions of dollars; cheap for what they'd been accustomed to.

    Everything changed when SPIN came online, though. Launching things into space became magnitudes cheaper with the decrease in the amount of rocket fuel required. Even long-distance continental travel became faster, resembling the frequency and orchestration of traditional airplane travel.

    In the three years since SPIN opened up to government agencies, the network has launched hundreds of satellites and space exploration probes and has now opened up to private sector use. Some initial commercial use cases include space tourism, continental and international travel. As long as entities registered to use the network meet the safety and capability requirements, any person or organization is now free to request use of the network.

    This model of conduct greatly reduces the responsibility of SPIN administration to ensure proper training of users and instead places that responsibility and liability on the users themselves, thus further increasing the cost-effectiveness, and accessibility of SPIN.

    Anyone can undergo private high-gee training and simply submit their certificate as part of the SPIN use requirements. Similarly, any entity desiring to reach any orbit of Earth, or interstellar space need simply submit vehicle specifications and proof of mid-trajectory launch fuel for desired extra-Earth destination.

    SPIN is equipped with three different supersonic centrifugal insertion mechanisms (SCIMs), for Earth-based use cases, Near-space and LOE use cases, and extra-Earth and interstellar use cases respectively.

    Astoundingly, the Earth-based travel mechanisms have exploded in popularity since being opened to the private sector. And already companies are launching more deep space probes than had previously been launched in the past one hundred fifty years. This is truly an exciting time in the history of travel and space exploration, and it's all thanks to SPIN!

Banana Pose

    "Now. . . Everyone gently turn onto your tummies." Ms. Potass instructed, sighing heavily. "Take a deep breath, gently arch your back, extend your arms, and slightly curl your legs into banana pose."

    The class was silent, enjoying the serene setting atop the mountain looking over Crescent Lake. The wind blew waves in the grass, and the breeze passed gently over everyone contorting their bodies into roughly banana shape. This was an advanced class, and though banana pose was difficult, maintaining tranquility was no easy feat either.

    "Ohm'gosh Brettnay! Thaht's not bahnahnah pohse!" Kimberly blurted out at her friend, who was in fact slouching a bit in the front.

    "Ohm'gosh Kemberlay! Like your bahnahnah is ahny bettar! You look brown and shriveled, thaht's what you look like."

    Kimberly gasped at the sinister comment. The rest of the class cringed and rolled their eyes at the two. They exchanged comments back and forth until Ms. Potass spoke up and gently asked them to dismiss themselves.

    The two friends gaped at the instructor.

    "Ugh! C'mon Brettnay, this is hardly bahnahnah. Let's go get manicures." Kimberly said

    Brittany squealed "I think you mean bahnahnahcures Kemberlay!"

    Kimberly squealed back "Ohm'gosh I totally do!" as they jumped together in excitement.

    They departed to the salon, and the class could hear their yelping through the doors. Eventually tranquility resumed above Crescent Lake, and Ms. Potass finished her session. Sometime later, the students could hear shrieks over something about slimy peels, but they chose to avoid that side of the resort for the remainder of their stay.