Happy Easter from Fuzzy Eggs Inc!

    Happy Easter from Fuzzy Eggs Inc! Remember to source all of your egg painting, hiding, laying, and finding needs from Fuzzy Eggs Inc. No egg supplier has better quality than ours. Come with us as we take you on a tour of our egg production facility!
    Here we enter the bunny breeding ground. All of our bunnies are free range and go through several phases in the Easter Egg journey.

    After a bunny is born, they spend several years in the same bunny production section they came from. When they reach maturity, they are moved to the egg laying facility. This is where the magic happens. All of the eggs you purchase from Fuzzy Eggs Inc. come from these bunnies here. And since they are free range, their eggs have the hardest shells, longest shelf live, and take color better than any other egg you'll find.
    Once bunnies begin to lose their egg-laying capacity, they are transferred to the operations department. First, they're fitted for their jacket; they get a choice of light blue, red, or light green. Once they've made their choice and have endured our six-week Easter Bunny training program, they're sent out across the country to hide eggs, fill Easter baskets, and take pictures with young children all over.
    So make your Easter memorable this year with eggs from Fuzzy Eggs Inc!

Oliver the Oboist

    Oliver the oboist had practiced his section of the piece countless times. He was completely prepared for the recital. What he wasn't prepared for was the horde of zombies infesting the town the next day.

    Oliver rolled out of bed, excited for the big day. He dressed in his performance attire, polished his oboe pieces, ate a hearty brunch, then left for the show. When he realized zombies had overrun the town, though, he rolled his eyes.

    "Of course," he thought. Well, he was already on the way to the concert hall, so he figured there was no sense in changing plans at the moment. Maybe this was just an inconvenience.

    When Oliver arrived at the concert hall, his suspicions were confirmed. This was at most an emergency, but inconvenient as it was, there was still an audience, and the majority of his orchestra was present for the show.

    Victor the violinist greeted him with his normal small talk.

    "Crazy zombies out there today, huh Oliver?" Forcing a smile, Oliver concurred, then joined his woodwind family. Doesn't that guy have anything more interesting to talk about?

    By the time the conductor led the orchestra out to the auditorium, several of the members had grown careless and been bitten by zombies. Oliver had to beat his way through several of them to his seat, ruining the good polish he gave his instrument earlier.

    Since the timpanis were in the back, and they had the most club-like sticks, they were put on guard between beats. This, along with their booming, served the orchestra well, and there were no attacks during the show.

    When the show ended, they received a standing ovation, which was curiously more groany than usual. When Oliver left, the inconvenience seemed to have subsided, so he returned home, changed out of his clothes, and cleaned his oboe once again. After a good shower, he went to bed, exhausted from this bizarre day.

Leashboy

    The bandits were getting away, and Mrs. Cremdellern was hysterical at losing her collection of fine cat figurines. David, secretly Leashboy, heard her hysterics, and immediately leapt from the window across the street.

    "What is it, Mrs. Cremdellern?" he asked.

    "Oh David, it's my collection of fine cat figurines. Those bandits, they -- they stole them!" she replied and then broke out into another bout of weeping.

    David ran back across the street, grabbed his ever-ready trench coat, threw it on, and then pursued the bandits. He caught up to them, and when they realized they wouldn't be able to outrun him, they turned to fight.

    When they confronted him, they didn't see David, they saw the shaggy-collared, masked hero Leashboy. The head bandit ran to attack, but Leashboy jumped to the side, reached his arm towards the nearest tree, and unfurled a leashed pitbull from his sleeve. The pitbull bit into the tree with a mighty grip, and Leashboy swung out from danger of the attacker.

    Leashboy released the pitbull, who furled back into his sleeve, and dropped to the ground. Then he raced towards the group of attackers and began unfurling the pitbull at those on his right, and a snarling rottweiler from his left sleeve to those on the other side. The dogs would bite tightly at any appendage they could catch, and Leashboy would swing back and forth along the taught leashes, defeating the attackers until they had all released the fine cat figurines, and conceded their loss.

    Leashboy released the bandits with a stern warning from his dogs, who he then furled once again. Leashboy returned the fine cat figurines to Mrs. Cremdellern, and bid her a good rest of the day. He returned to his home, removed his outfit, and then returned to Mrs. Cremdellern as David.

    She continued with her hysterics, but this time at the joy of being reunited with her fine cat figurines, and the amazement at Leashboy. David shared his disappointment at not being able to witness the hero, but once she was settled, he returned home with a smirk on his face.

    "Silly old woman" he thought.

Idea Upon the Wind

    A gentle breeze blew, and Madeline Paperhead once again went with it. Having a paper head wasn't all bad. She heard people talk plenty about neck pain, which she simply couldn't imagine. But getting hit in the head, or like today, blown by the wind was a constant frustration.

    Her peers had asked if she wanted to undergo head-hardening treatment, and she'd seen how successfully it worked for Leonard Looseleaf, but she just couldn't commit to it. This was her head, and she would bear the gifts and the burdens it brought equally.

    When Madeline landed at the school playground, she realized even getting blown by the wind wasn't always a burden. Today she beat all of her classmates to school, and enjoyed some extra time to think and prepare for the day. How could she use the wind to her advantage more often?

The Puzzlelord vs the Alien Grandmaster

    Each night the Puzzlelord went to bed with images of jigsaw pieces and various metal rings spinning in his mind. The Alien Grandmaster pressed upon the planet, and the minds of the common folk weren't powerful enough to keep him at bay. Only the brilliant could stand up to the Alien Grandmaster's cipher swarms.

    And the next morning another one arrived. The Puzzlelord sent a wave of defensive decryptions, but he could not continue to hold in a defensive manner. Eventually he'd need to attack back and send the Alien Grandmaster back home to Complex Quaternion 13, a joke of a facility, but away from here at least.

    So, the Puzzlelord figured no time would be better than now to launch his Enigma Bomb on its quizzical quest. As he felt the cipher swarm retreating, he felt for the launch button. As soon as he was confident the swarm was no longer intent on mind-hunting the citizens, but not yet safe in the Alien Grandmaster's Battleship, he pressed the button.

    A silo opened up from the ground, and out launched a rocket covered with small satellite dishes. It sped toward the Alien Grandmaster's ship, and when it was safely out of range of the planet, it bombarded the ship with radio riddles.

    None of the swarm could defend itself on its own, so they were immediately annihilated, leaving the battleship unguarded. With no defenses, it had no choice but to return to Complex Quaternion 13, the joke of a facility that it was, but away from here at least.

    The citizens of the planet rejoiced, and the Puzzlelord slumped back into his seat, relieved at the reprieve from the riddles. They wouldn't have to worry about mind mysteries for some time. They'd have to prepare their defenses for the Alien Grandmaster's eventual return, though. The Puzzlelord wouldn't be with them forever, so a new generation of wily warriors would need to be trained.

    The Alien Grandmaster, meanwhile, traveled among the stars in silence, not daring to draw attention to himself. He'd figure out a way through the Puzzlelord's defenses eventually. This was just one assault of many. Until then, though, he'd need to recruit new cipher soldiers. So, he set his mind to that. He eventually arrived back home at Complex Quaternion 13, the joke of a facility that it was, and away from the Puzzlelord, for now.

The Rainbow Transmitter

    Esmerelda received a magic radio for her eighth birthday. When she turned it on, it transmitted through the Rainbow Realm, to which she was instantly transported. From there, she would join her friends Piko and Smileshine and go on Rainbow adventures together.

    Their days were filled with picking rainbow fruit, and rainbow skating across all the rainbow rivers that flowed through the land. And when she was tired, Esmerelda could transmit back through to the regular realm, when she could rest in her own bed for the night, eager to go on more rainbow adventures the next day.

Chickens on the Loose

    "Ten chickens escaped the coop this morning, and so far, only eight have been found. We join the scene here with Ed Feather. Ed, what the scoop?    '
    "Well Brenda, chickens nine and ten are still missing, but investigators have been following the chicken scratch they left behind, and they're befuddled to say the least. First they went east, then west, and they can't make heads or tails of the situation. Following the pattern, they should be able to see them coming back this way any minute now, but so far -- wait, there's commotion over yonder!
    "We follow quietly to let the investigators do their job. It looks like -- yes it looks like both chickens are bobbing back this way, but they're in some strange unison. Upon closer inspection, they seem to have both tried eating corn from the same cob at the same time. Now the cob is stuck in each of their throats with a ring of corn around the middle. Chicken nine wanted to cross the road but ten wouldn't have it, and ten being the bigger one, strong-necked nine into returning to the coop."

    "Well, that wraps up this story folks. Thanks to Ed Feather for the inside look into this wild chicken chase. Until next time, I'm Brenda Doodledoo, your local channel 4 anchor."

Schumcky's Job Application

    Quick!
    Write down your name, in cursive please!

    Good, good, and now the biggest number you can think of, in number format in this little box!

    Excellent.

    Now, write that same exact number in word format along this line!

    Wonderful, you're doing fantastically.

    You're almost done, now let's see if you can spell my name up here. Can you write J.G. Sneakiesworth along this line?

    Excellent job! I think you'll make a great candidate for this position, I'll take this back for review. You should hear from us within a week. Keep up the good work Schmucky, you have bright things in your future.

The Ding-Dong Bell

    The Ding-Dong bell went ding dank as it normally did one fine -- wait a minute. Ding dank?

    "Hello? Chancellor Frevenfritz? Yes, this is Announcer Bernouncer. I'm calling to inform you that the Ding-Dong bell just went ding dank.

    "Yes, you heard me correctly, ding dank! I don't know how to fix it; I'm just the announcer.

    "Ok.

    "Mhm.

    "Yes, very good, I'll inform Fixer Chrixtopher.

    "Yes.

    "Mhm.

    "Good day!
    "Hello, Fixer Chrixtopher? This is Announcer Bernouncer. I'm calling to inform you that the Ding-Dong bell just went ding dank.

    "Yes, you heard me correctly, ding dank! Will you make your way right there immediately to fix it?

    "Ok.

    "Mhm.

    "Yes, very good.

    "Mhm.

    "Good day!"
And so, on this fine day, the Ding-Dong bell was fixed. It'd not make a ding dank for much time to come, and everyone would enjoy the merry ding dongs of the Ding-Dong bell.

Frank the Groundskeeper

    Frank the groundskeeper was on the front lawn today. He thought diagonal would look nice. By the flower bed at the front of the building is where he decided to start mowing, and once he was in his groove, he put in his ear buds and began humming along to his music.

    Not long after, the police began chasing him again. When he noticed, he rolled his eyes. Again?
    The officers jumped out of their cars, and chased after Frank, but he just kept on his diagonal path, off the curb and into the street. His mower had the turbo attachment, so they couldn't keep up with him. They should have stayed in their cars. Maybe next time he decided to mow the mayor's lawn they'd catch him, but today he got away.

Erratic Thunderwisp

    Booms and flashes exploded in front of the enemies, and Thunderwisp sent lightning and thunder bolts behind him. The Fey Slayers were close behind, and his attacks seemed to make no difference to their gaining upon him. Thunderwisp was too erratic. That's what everyone always told him. Well, his attacks weren't working, so maybe it was about time he listened to what everyone said.
    He'd been dodging trees and glancing behind him several times a second, so he decided to stop doing both. After a deep breath, Thunderwisp looked as far into the distance of the forest as he could, and mapped a path forward. The Fey Slayers nearly reached him, but just as they did, he sped up, and this time more direct.

    He wound his way easily among the trunks, and after some time, he realized his pursuers were far behind once again.

    "I should have listened to all those people a long time ago" Thunderwisp said and cruised through the forest back to his home.

Peril on the Agility Course

    Five floating orbs circled Gnathan's head as he prepared his speed. He closed his eyes and breathed calmly. When he was fully prepared, he stepped up to the starting line. The course was closed off from his view and wouldn't be revealed until the starting horn sounded, and he broke through the barrier.

    When it did sound, Gnathan burst from the starting line, shattering the barrier. He had only moments to examine the course, his surroundings, and the enemies before they attacked him. Gnathan leapt and barely dodged the initial barrage. He landed true and continued racing along the course. The faster he ran, the faster the orbs circled his head. They provided a minor barrier to debris from explosions, but their real power would be shown when he used them offensively.

    An athletimech descended onto the course some distance before him, and it was clear this would require his orbs to defeat. The mech wore short shorts and a tank top, held a Gyserflow water bottle in one hand, and a Powerslam protein shaker in the other. As Ganthan approached, the mech shot a jet of water from the Gyserflow; the orbs barely kept him dry. It slowed him down greatly, and so did the orbs, losing much of their defensive effectiveness.

    Gnathan did approach, though, and when he came in near enough contact, the mech powered up his Powerslam. It slammed down towards Gnathan, who again dodged just in time. Cracks propagated through the ground and sent Gnathan soaring into the air. The athletimech's weapons were down, and an opportunity opened. Gnathan launched all five orbs in succession at the mech's chest, and each one exploded, shattering the mech's core. Its arms detached from the body and alarms blared and flashed. The entire thing would detonate.

    Though the mech was defeated, Gnathan wasn't yet safe from peril. He needed to run. The finish line was in sight now, but he needed to run faster to avoid being caught in the explosion. He drained every remaining bit of his speed, and just as the mech detonated, Gnathan passed through the finish portal, and just before the explosion reached him, the portal shut.

    Gnathan's time flashed on the wall. A new record. His training had worked, and he finished unscathed. The citizens would be talking about this for weeks to come, and Gnathan could rest for some time.

Shades on the Twelfth Green

    Nick Rippit, the Flame Caster, stepped up to the tee. Shades circled the green, haunting all players who approached, and Nick was faced with a dilemma. Shoot for a low score and face their haunting? Or defeat the shades and risk a lower score?

    He could leave it for the Frost Flinger, but shades were weaker against fire, and he didn't trust Garrett's shot to hit the shades, as good of a golfer as he was. Since Nick had the honors, this dilemma weighed heavier on him, but he knew what he ought to do.

    After gauging the distance and wind, Nick teed up his ball, ignited it, then lined himself up to hit. With a full backswing Nick ripped the fireball straight over the fairway, and hit the closest shade in the chest, then ricocheted off it to the remaining shades, igniting each one in turn. Their ashen remains fluttered to the ground and singed the green where they landed before the wind swept them away. Nick's ball hit the ground and left its own burn mark, then a frozen ball of ice bounced right over his, extinguishing the flame.

The green was fresh again when the double approached, and they could putt in peace with the shades vanquished. Garrett commended Nick's shot and even admitted his inability to do the same. They walked off the green, Garrett with a birdie, Nick with par, and continued their game, hoping other golfers had defeated any other entities.

Escape through the Dunes

    Walker shuffled over the dunes in his T-shirt and cargo shorts, his home in his backpack hanging on his back, and his treasures strewn throughout his many pockets. Sunlight reflected off the grains of sand, dazzling his sight. He didn't know the exact route, but he knew it was east, and as long as he went that direction, he'd be farther from his past and closer to something better. In fact, with his first step many miles ago, he already was.

    Step after step he took as the sun traveled across the sky. By dusk there was still only sand in sight, and so he took out a tarp and blanket, and bivouacked under the stars. It wasn't comfortable, but it was so much better than his "comforts" back home. Even if he stayed out here the rest of his life, he'd still be free from the voids and conceited, selfish will he escaped. And yet, he had great hope for what was to come. Step by step, he was finally free to fail fast.

Ms. Homnanomna's Pies

    Early in the morning when the blackbird cries, Ms. Homnanomna yells out to the countryside "pies are ready!" All the country folk come skipping and leaping from all the nooks and crannies in the land, excited for one of Ms. Homnanomna's pies.

    The people's favorite was blackberry, but they'd do with just about any of them. Any except pig toe pie. No one knows why she makes pig toe pie, but when she brings those out, the people go running back to their nooks and crannies, wondering why they ever came to Ms. Homnanomna's in the first place.

The Last of the First of the Last Meteors

    On the first day of the last week of the first month of the last year before the meteor strikes, there will be a sign. A sign of the location of the meteor impact. Be alert! For if you miss the sign, you and all those you love may perish in the impact, whilst those that remained vigilant will have retreated to a safe location.

    One thing you can be sure of, though. This will be the last meteor of the first wave of the last of the meteors that remain in the system. Watch carefully! For it will be awesome and destructive. If you miss the sign, you may yet experience the beauty it brings with its destruction!

The Silly Sandwich

    Take a bite of the Silly Sandwich, and it will turn you silly! Your ears will grow three times bigger, as will your feet, and your limbs will wiggle like noodles. It's a grand old time being silly! Smell the wonderful smells, and taste the wonderful tastes through your silly senses! All from taking a bite of the Silly Sandwich, on sale now at Silly Sandra's Silly Sandwich Shop!

A Pi Day Contest

    There were two pieces of pie left, and only one contestant could have them. It was an all-out brawl between Alfonzo "Brains" Lemmingworth, Petunia "Intellifreak" Ticklespitz, and Gertrude "Integrady-Lady" Strumfrutz, and they were each hungry. Between various differential equations, and questions on number theory history, the three battled against each other's brains and wits, eager to earn those pie slices.

    In the end, naturally, Petunia took the pie home thanks to a sneaky fourth-dimensional solution to a particular tricky integral. Red filling dribbled from her mouth as she smiled victoriously toward the other contestants.

Magnificence from a Marker

    Nikki took her magic marker and began to draw. She thought a dragon would be fun. A ferocious, noble dragon, intent on scouring the earth until it claimed every fleck of gold for its horde. The dragon was dark grey and green with metallic horns twisting out of its skull. Its limbs were lined with vibrant orange and pink, and sunken into the end of its tail glowed deep embers. When Nikki finished the remaining details, she capped her magic marker, then waved it across the drawing.

    Mystical swirls emanated from the page, and soon Ghalizra crawled out. She flapped open her wings to let them breathe, then flew out the window and onto the roof, growing each moment into the dragon Nikki had imagined. Nikki climbed out after her, and when Ghalizra was fully grown, Nikki mounted her and took to the skies. Ghalizra could see the shimmer of every piece of gold on the ground with her ancient eyes, and though the pieces were small, a fortune had to begin somewhere. She landed, pointed out each spot to Nikki, who retrieved the gold and placed it in Ghalizra's pouch.

    Before night they had a small pile to adore, but they needed a place to put it. So Ghalizra took them to a nearby mountain and began carving a cave. As the sun set, the two nestled into the cave, and fell asleep staring at the pile that glittered from Ghalizra's fire. Day after day of this, and they'd soon have a fortune big enough to rule the lands they inhabited, and then the world.

The Holdouts

    There were three attendees left. The Holdouts. All the vendors had left except one: the space simulator. The Holdouts remained firmly in their positions in the simulator, not budging an inch until they experienced the Amazements of Space ride for which they waited five hours to ride. The Magic and Space convention had ended three hours ago, when the Holdouts were next in line to ride.

    Prescott Boneworm was just as stubborn, and refused to let the Holdouts ride the ride, even at the cost of his evening. He could wait. But so could the Holdouts, and so the Holdouts did. To this day they're their own attraction that people flock to see, and Prescott's hair is whiter, and posture slumped, but still he stands there, refusing to start the ride for the Holdouts because of course, the convention is over, they'll have to wait until next year.

Stylo the Fancyhorse

    With the most resplendent strut, Stylo the Fancyhorse made his entrance, and all the Glammyhorses swooned at his mane flowing in the dance hall breeze. He strutted by each Glammyhorse with his nose high in the air, and they neighed and whinnied as he passed.

    After the initial entrance, Stylo made his way to the center of the hall, where he broke down in the most fantastic of dance moves. Hightop tried to dazzle Stylo out from the limelight, but his moves were too insane, and the Glammyhorses just continued to swoon.

    When he was finished with his moves, he strutted right back out the same way he arrived, and left the dance hall silent, glitter and auras shimmered in his wake. He was still the coolest Fancyhorse to grace the dance hall, and he intended to keep it that way for a long time. Hightop needed much practice yet in order to beat Stylo out of the limelight and off the dance floor.

Through the Aromatic Ocean

    Each sniff of the Wonderdust brought a little less magic and decreased the total supply available to the sailors. The only way through the Aromatic Ocean, though, was to sniff. They'd pass the power around every morning and sniff their way through the ocean.

    By three days in they were tired of the giggles, and they still had three weeks left. Captain Olfactory started putting the men on shifts in order to ration the powder, and ease their giggles. It'd be a long three weeks, but they'd make it through.

Muscular Goat Jaws

    Rocky the goat chewed his grass so hard and made the most aggressive grass-chewing faces that it freaked the other goats out. When they'd come wander near his patch, they'd inevitably hear him, then see him chewing, and would slowly back the way they came. Eventually, Rocky ran out of grass to aggressively chew, so he strutted around to find a new patch.

    Well while he was busy aggressively chewing his grass, all the other goats decided to hit the chewing gym, and after several weeks of chewing rocks and tree bark, their jaws were like vice grips, and they made that clear to Rocky when he approached.

    They nodded him away, sending him to go look elsewhere for another patch. Meanwhile, they found the grass was too soft for them now, to they migrated to the woods anyway, and chose to continue living on a diet of trees and rocks.

Dusk on Cybestellia

    The grass scattered pink rays onto the side of the house, and the sky faded from lavender to a deep muddy maroon and the sun set. Whimsical and Raddish finished up their game of treewhack and rushed inside before dark; the ground under the tree was covered with the light pink petals that only an hour before had resided on the branches.

    The boys' mother had warned them sternly that the sun's rays would give way to the cosmic rays at nighttime, so into the house and under the ground they went. It'd be another week until the sun rose again. Luckily they'd gotten enough of their energy out for the time, and they could see to their studies and chores until it was time to go out again.

Michael Fitness

    Welcome to Michael Fitness, your one stop gym to get big and buff, and finally join that elite club of macho people you've been envying. With just three workouts a week, you can become as big and buff as me, Michael, and you won't regret a thing. I promise.

    For a one-time payment of seven hundred dollars, and a monthly subscription of two hundred dollars, you get all the benefits of being a member. This includes use of gym equipment, pool, shower, sauna, and sweatshop*.

    If you want to become big and buff like me, Michael, and these amenities sound like heaven to you, then come on down and join Michael fitness today! You won't regret it. I promise.

*Mandatory minimum of 30 hours of sweatshop usage time per week will be enforced as part of membership. This clause is non-negotiable. Upon signature you forfeit any and all legal rights to challenge this clause. Attempts to challenge this clause will be further enforced by Michael Fitness security personnel, and will result in increased minimum mandatory sweatshop usage, under strict surveillance. 

Dr. Ephraim and the Noxious Remedy

    Noxious fumes flowed underneath the laboratory door. Dr. Ephraim was at his concoctions again, and he'd let the entire waiting room know. Patients coughed and wheezed as they waited to see the doctor, wondering if they weren't just better off enduring their sickness at home.

    Eventually, Dr. Ephraim emerged in a cloud of thick green smoke, exclaiming his discovery of a new remedy. He gave each of the patients a sip of the bright green liquid he held in his hand. After several moments, each patient's mouth swirled in an exaggerated spiral, their eyes rolled around in their heads, and their hair twisted up, ending with a loud pop from their ears. Each of them in turn felt completely better.

    They thanked the doctor and went along with their day.

    "Mary will bill you by the end of the month" Dr. Ephraim whispered as the last of the patients exited his office. Then he cackled the most sinister cackle, and Mary simply saw to her work at the desk, not wanting to bother the doctor mid-cackle.

Summer Sandra

    Spring was near and Summer Sandra had some planting to do! At the first warm sun she burst out of her flower pod in a cloud of pollen and began planning her planting. She thought Echinacea on this side, and Black-Eyed Susans on that. Rows of lavender in the middle, and large bunches of Dahlias throughout. Yes, this would be a beautiful garden once she got to work!

    Sandra summoned her summer minions and set them to work digging and planting. Once everything was planted it was time to wait, so she took a long nap. Before she knew it, Summer arrived and Sandra's garden was in full bloom. It was attracting bees, birds and butterflies.

    Perfect.

    Once they'd had their fill, she'd be able to activate the Nectarcore and drain all the creatures of their nectar, consuming it all for herself. It'd be wonderful hibernation this winter after all.

Mr. Dibbles vs the Moles

    Two moles dug their way up from beneath the surface of Mr. Dibbles' backyard. He'd had enough of the dirt trails those moles made, so he set up a contraption to snatch them up. When they emerged, a net captured them and hung them in the air. Realizing his contraption had sprung, Mr. Dibbles ran out back to inspect the victims.

    The two moles screeched, fumbling around each other and trying to dig their way out. Mr. Dibbles calmly explained to them that they were trapped in a net, and that escape would prove futile. They didn't understand, though, because they were moles. When he finished his explanation, the old man unhooked the net and released the moles into the woods.

    The next day, Mr. Dibbles noticed dirt trails again and became infuriated. The moles had returned, and this time with their friends and family. With no time to set up his contraption again, he raced out with a net and began scooping and swiping as fast as he could to try and eliminate the moles. He wasn't quick enough, though, and soon his entire house was surrounded by mole trails.

    The ground around the structure began undulating, and soon it was carried away in a sea of dirt, back into the woods. Mr. Dibbles leaped out of the way, and beheld his home being taken away. The moles had claimed his home as their own, and he would not get it back.

    The sun was setting by now, and without a roof over his head, Mr. Dibbles did the only sensible thing he could think of. He began digging a hole for himself. He dug a large hole, stepped in, and covered himself back up with the excavated dirt, leaving a small opening for his face. He'd sleep there for the night and think long and hard about his predicament, and the wise lesson he learned that day.

Queen of the Neighborhood

    There was once a delirious old woman who dressed in regal attire every morning and waved at the children running to school. They waved back, but had no idea who she was. This was apparent to her, but being the gracious monarch she was, permitted the rudeness.
    One day Ashley decided to go up to the old lady and ask who she was. Appalled at the forwardness of the child, she called to her guards to seize her. When the guards didn't show, she assumed the worst: that her kingdom was under attack and the royal bodyguards had been taken out. Prepared to defend her throne to the death, she tossed aside her regalia, pulled up her sleeves, and prepared to fight.
    Ashley's mother pulled her away quickly and sent her along to the bus stop. She tried to confront the old lady, but she was wiser than that to succumb to a classic foreign espionage trick. Instead, she bunkered in her home until the war was over, a stockpile of Fancy Feast her only nourishment for the next several months.

Fish Frenzy

    Fish Frenzy was upon Diptide, and the citizens could not hold back. They donned their old boots on top of their heads, and went out in the rain for three days straight, holding their mouths open trying to catch as many falling fish as they could in them.
    When the rain ended, everyone gathered under the sun in the town square and spit out their fish. The one with the biggest pile was the year's winner, and this year it was Fish Billy again. No wonder, he had the biggest mouth in the town, and he made sure you knew it!

Journey to Azernia

    The oozy dripping of the slime in the Pit reeked, but Waxy and Smelt trudged through. Their objective was to deliver the clean cotton to king Azerna, and this was the fastest way. The muckstorm at the beginning of their journey slowed them down so much that a less filthy way wasn't an option. With only a burlap sack protecting the cotton from the elements, it'd be miraculous if it actually arrived clean, but they wouldn't dare open it to check.

    Eventually, they made it through the Pit, and Azernia was clearly visible in the distance. Dusk was near, but they'd arrive tomorrow. After a restless sleep, Waxy and Smelt resumed their journey, and without the slime slowing them down, it went swiftly.

    The two travelers presented the sack nervously to the king. When he opened it, he furrowed his brow, then sighed. He unraveled the sack, and a pristine white clump of cotton spilled onto the floor. Kind Azerna clapped and two attendants approached them. They presented Waxy and Smelt with a large chest, and two camels. It was their payment, and it was far more generous than they could have imagined.

    They leaped in joy, thanked the king, quite inappropriately and forwardly than was culturally acceptable, but it was forgiven. With the chest strapped to the back of Waxy's camel, the two began their journey back home. This time avoiding the Pit.