The Enigma Express

    "All aboard the Enigma Express!" Cried the cross-eyed conductor. He sat on a swirling cloud of green and purple and wove a sparkling wand around as he made his announcements. Janice and Everduke dodged it narrowly as the boarded the train.

    "I'm so excited Dukey! The Enigma Express! They all say it's the most remarkable ride." Janice said clutching Everduke's arm as they sat in their cabin.

    "I said don't call me that, Janice! It portrays me as a child. But yes, I'm quite excited for this too. I just hope it isn't too rough on the rear." Everduke replied.

    The couple passed the time observing the other passengers board, patiently waiting for the train to depart. The attraction drew quite a few unique people, including a jester and his accountant, an accountant and his lawyer, and a lawyer and his sandwich. Upon seeing this, Everduke and Janice realized their hunger. They'd been waiting for a while now without having departed, so they decided to wave down the trolley for some refreshment.

    They nestled back in their seats with a sandwich and soda each, and the lawyer they noticed earlier checked his back pocket as he walked by, making sure he wasn't pickpocketed.

    Eventually the conductor announced their departure on the speaker, and the couple's nerves tingled with anticipation. The train jolted from rest then slowly gained momentum. Outside the scenery began shifting from typical landscape to otherworldly fascinations. Mushrooms sprouted where trees stood and marionettes descended from the clouds, each singing a haunting lullaby. Fireworks burst in the atmosphere and then swirled from galactic spirals into coffee with fresh creamer, which then rained down upon the land, sending the roasted aroma through their nostrils.

    The scenery continued shifting in this manner for some time before a commotion in the car aisle disturbed them. Everduke peered out from their cabin and beheld the jester and the lawyer with the sandwich wrestling over said sandwich. Not wanting to miss the entire attraction because of this, Everduke shouted at the two on the floor "Get up! What do you two think you're doing? The rest of us are trying to enjoy the ride!"

    The jester replied "this buffoon won't give me his sandwich!"

    "I told you I'd gladly sell you the sandwich for ten!"

    The accountant chimed in "we made it quite clear we don't have the funds for such a purchase, now if you'd please hand over the sandwich, we can all enjoy the ride in peace."

    "I'm not handing my sandwich over for free, ten or nothing!"

    Suddenly another voice said "if you'll all be quiet, I'll take the sandwich!"

    The second accountant handed the lawyer a ten and snatched the sandwich. His own lawyer followed behind, meticulously taking notes in case a case should arise from this fiasco.

    The jester crossed his arms and stomped back to his cabin sullenly, while the other passengers each returned to their own. Everduke sat back down, and he and Janice managed to catch the last bit of the ride: a file of teddy bears marching with singing walking sticks, waving to the passengers as they returned to the station.

    "Well that was the most disturbing disruption I've ever experienced!" Everduke exclaimed.

    Janice patted his hand and commented "we still had a show! We were entertained the whole time, weren't we dear?"

    Everduke smirked. "I suppose that's true. That's why I love you dear, you always see the good, even in the bad."

    The train came to a stop, and the conductor sat by the exit, holding his hand out not-so-subtly requesting tips from the passengers. The accountant with the lawyer were first out, and realizing he didn't have any money on him, the accountant handed the conductor the sandwich he purchased from the other lawyer. The conductor nodded and said "have a great day, come again soon."

    Everduke and Janice were next, and since neither of them finished their own sandwich, they both handed the conductor their remains, to which he nodded and said "have a great day, come again soon."

    The couple turned around to see the jester, his accountant, and the sandwichless lawyer exit the train leaving nothing for the conductor. I'm response, the conductor gave the each the most dreadful scowl, and seemed to mutter something under his breath, though they couldn't discern what. Shortly after, they realized what it must have been, for the three stingy passengers were now each wearing soggy sandwich shoes and slipped and fell all over each other.

    "I think we got more than we paid for this day, Everduke." Janice said

    "I think so too Janice." Everduke replied as they began their journey home.