The Clairecrow

    Many farmers do fear crows ruining their harvest. Traditional scarecrows don't work very well anymore, so what farmers need these days is a Clairecrow. Similar to a scarecrow, the Clairecrow is hooked on a post and stuffed with straw, but the difference shows when the crows arrive. When the Clairecrow does notice a crow nearby, she perks up and starts yelling at it "Hey! Crow! Get away from these crops, they aren't yours!"

    The crow might cock its head at the Clairecrow, and that just makes her even madder. So she starts to really flail around to get it away. "Don't even think about it you darn crow! I'm warning you, you're gonna get a beak full of straw once I'm done with you if you don't leave these crops alone!"

    At this point the crow will hop over to inspect the Clairecrow. Once it's close enough, the Clairecrow makes faces at the bird and starts acting like a lunatic. This is enough to make the bird fly away. It's not scared, but it does not have the patience to sit and listen to the Clairecrow.

    That doesn't matter to the Clairecrow though. As long as no crows come trying to eat her crops, she's content, and until the next one comes by, she'll hang there on her post singing songs about farming and reviewing her plan for Halloween night.

The Scareclaire

    On Halloween night there are many frightening things. Of them, though, losing your corn or pumpkins to a wild Claire is one of the scariest. That's why every farmer will have his Scareclaire set up in the field.  No, you didn't misread that. No crow is coming to eat a pumpkin or an ear of corn, so the farmers don't need to scare them away. What they do fear though, is wild Claire, coming in the night, cackling and shrieking through the field, looking for a juicy pumpkin to take home and eat.

    So farmers set out their Scareclaire, holding one big pumpkin in its hands to lure a wild Claire. Then, when she comes sneaking, cackling and shrieking for the pumpkin, the Scareclaire bops her in the head with it, then grabs her and tickles her until she can't breathe! After laughing that much, she won't have the energy to grab a pumpkin, so she runs back home and goes to sleep, thinking about how she'll get a pumpkin the next night.

The Rad Badger

    Sneaky Tom was sneaking around the warehouse, looking for some stuff to steal. He'd heard the radio chatter about the new vigilante roaming the city, seeking to put an end to injustice. It didn't worry Tom, though. There were far worse criminals than he; they'd draw this vigilante's attention.

    As Tom was prying open a wooden crate, the lights in the warehouse shut off. "Aw come on!" Tom shouted. He put his pry bar down and rummaged through his bag for his flashlight. Suddenly a lone ceiling light shone down on a shadow figure standing on top of a nearby pile of crates. Tom looked up at the figure and beheld a muscular outline. The head was unusual, though. Ears pointed from the top, and the face was quite elongated. "No! You're supposed to go after the big-time guys! Not us small-crime fellows!"

    "The Rad Badger tolerates no injustice in this city!" the shadow figure boomed. Then the Rad Badger leaped from the pile onto Sneaky Tom and began scratching his face and nibbling at his ears. Tom screamed, flailing as he tried to escape, but the Rad Badger held firm. When the hero thought Tom had earned his punishment enough, he released the criminal from his grip and warned him "Turn aside from your evil ways, citizen! And join the cause for justice! Let me not catch you performing criminal acts again!" Then he crouched low and launched through the warehouse ceiling, raining debris onto Sneaky Tom.

The Grand Ombudsmabaker

    The Grand Ombudsmabaker stood triumphantly before the crowd. He was the people's leader, their spokesman, and their baker. By day he negotiated tirelessly for the people's freedom before the Snagrattles, who looked over their country eager to devour them, and their bread. By night he baked that exact bread, with which he fed the people. So far, he'd succeed in both feeding them and defending them from the Snagrattles.
    How long could it last though? He was but one ombudsmabaker, and the people grew soft on his bread.  Perhaps it was time to let them face some hardship? Not today, no. But yes, one day soon, scarcity or struggle would come.

Teaching Kyle Mlem a Lesson

    Kyle Mlem was the most irritating, pasty kid at school, and it was the one thing Kythe and Corona could agree on. He was annoying. Kyle was the teacher's pet, and he would go out of his way to find kids misbehaving and report them.
    One day Kythe spotted Kyle lurking around the corner, and he whispered a plan to Corona. They ran to find Queth and told him to inconspicuously keep watch for Kyle. Then they ran to the other side of the school. Corona started rolling a huge snowball while Kythe put himself in Kyle's view and started making small snowballs himself. Kyle would think he was up to no good, and when Kythe spotted him following, he led Kyle around the next corner of the school where Corona's big snowball was waiting.

    Once Kythe was around the corner he ran to the predetermined hiding spot and waited for Kyle to appear. When he did, the only thing he could see was the giant snowball. Kyle sauntered up to it to inspect it, and when he was close, the other two darted out of their hiding spot, grabbed him, and shoved him headfirst into the pile of snow. With his legs flailing in the air, Kythe and Corona walked to meet back up with their friends, laughing the whole time.

Maggie Meets Stuffinisthroat

    "Oh, you want to go see Stuffinisthroat. He sits in the shed out back" the pleasant shopkeeper said to Maggie. The timid newcomer thanked the shopkeeper and departed the store. She found the alley that led to the rear of the building, and followed it to find Stuffinisthroat, whomever that was.

    Maggie found the shed the shopkeeper was referring to, and with all her courage, she knocked on the door. She heard a deep booming gentlemanly cough come from inside, followed by slow steps, increasing the agony Maggie already felt from the situation. Before long though, the handle slowly turned, then the door flung open, revealing a tall, slightly slouching, bald man with a scraggly white mustache. He peered at her with a menacing stare, one eye much wider than the other.

    The old man cleared his throat again, then asked "Can I help you?"

    Maggie once again gathered her courage, and asked Stuffinisthroat "Excuse me sir, I'd like to repair my satchel. The shopkeeper told me I should come ask you for assistance."

    Stuffinisthroat considered her for some time, then gave a long grumble. He put out his hand, and Maggie handed over her satchel. Then the man cleared his throat once again, then called deeply back into the shed "'Ey, Stuffinisthroat! Got a customer for ya." The old man turned back to Maggie with a creepy grin, causing her to shudder.

    A high-pitched voice sounded from the shed, and Maggie peered around the old man, who was evidently not Stuffinisthroat, to see a little man who barely came up to her chin step out of the shed.  "Hello little Misses, you're seeking to have your satchel repaired I can see! Well, you've come to the right place, for I am Stuffinisthroat, the best leatherworker these lands have ever seen."

    Maggie was bewildered, but agreed that she wanted her satchel repaired, and handed it to Stuffinisthroat. "Have no fear, I'll have your satchel ready for you tomorrow. When you return, just knock on the door, and if I'm not immediately available, Happyfrunkle here will be glad to return your satchel to you!"

    Maggie nodded saying "Thank you very much. . . Stuffinisthroat. I'll return tomorrow. I look forward to having a functional satchel again!" Then she swiftly departed the alley, unsure if she'd actually return to that bizarre duo.

Wintertown Village One October Evening

    It was nearing Halloween at Wintertown, and the students decided to visit the village to see the decorations. Corona and Kimberly went ahead, leaving the boys behind to admire the decorations. Kythe noticed a pumpkin-headed scarecrow in one window, and that gave him a scheming idea. On the stoop of the shop were jack-o-lanterns, and he and Zyler each picked one up and hopped on their boards to catch up to the girls. Queth followed but said "guys I don't think this is a good idea."
    The two miscreants carved out large holes in the bottoms of each of the jack-o-lanterns, then quickly slid up to the girls, plopped the decorations right on their heads, then scooted off laughing. Flames erupted around Corona, and when she and Kimberly had removed the carved pumpkins, they raced off to catch up to the boys.
    Corona set the insides of each of the jack-o-lanterns ablaze, then they likewise forced them firmly on top of the boys' heads, who immediately started wailing. "Serves you right!" Kimberly said, and the girls continued their evening in peace.
    Queth slid up to the boys and removed the pumpkins from their heads. Kythe and Zyler leaped headfirst into a snowbank to relieve their heads, and Queth just stood there shaking his head. Pleiades slid up shortly after and asked what was going on. Queth explained their shenanigans, and Pleiades joined him in his head shaking.

Welcome Pleiades

    "Everyone give a warm welcome to our new classmate Pleiades!" Mrs. Melon announced.

    "Hi Pleiades." The class responded with feigned enthusiasm. Pleiades moved to a seat in the back of the classroom without speaking and took his seat. When Mrs. Melon began teaching, Kythe leaned over to tell Pleiades they were having a race after school. Pleiades perked up at the invitation and agreed to meet them after school.

    After school dismissed, Kythe, Zyler, Queth, Corona, Kimberly, and Chelsea all headed to the course.  Fortunately, Pleiades saw them before they were out of sight, and hurried to meet them. When he arrived at the course, Corona was explaining the rules, naturally, and then proceeded to ask who the racers would be. She saw the new student arrive and asked if he wanted to go on the first run. Pleiades was shy, but quite eager to race. It'd be a good way to get to know some of his new classmates.

    Kythe of course wanted to race with the new kid, and Kimberly and Chelsea took the other two spots.

Corona counted down the timer, then the racers shot out from the starting line. Kythe took a quick lead and snatched the first available drop. He opened a pack of three snowballs; those would come in handy if anyone overtook him, so for now he focused on his snowboarding.

    Kimberly and Chelsea fell in line behind Kythe, while Pleiades acquainted himself with the course.

The first three battled back and forth for first place, leaving Pleiades well behind. On the last stretch of the course Kythe was once again in the lead. He spared a glance behind and saw Pleiades gaining quickly. A moment later he watched Chelsea fly up into the air in a burst of flames. Immediately after, a bolt of lightning struck Kimberly, similarly launching her up in an explosion.

    Kythe was so amazed at what he had seen that he let all defenses down and soon found himself once again frozen in a block of ice. Pleiades rushed by, spinning Kythe in his block as he did. The three veterans came sliding into the finish line and Pleiades was unclipping his boots.

    "That was amazing!" Kythe exclaimed.

    "Where did you come from?" Chelsea asked.

    "How did you do that?" Kimberly likewise asked.

    Pleiades gave a quick smile, then got in line for the lift. After the other three joined him, he replied "it's just something I can do. I'm glad you allow weapons on the course, it's nice to have an outlet for it!"

The Bean Train

    "All aboard the bean train!" Mr. Tootsworth shouted at all the hungry customers. The long table shook from all the cheering Bean Train patrons. They pounded the table and whooped in the air as bowls and platters of all different kinds of beans traveled down the middle. Baked beans, lima beans, kidney beans, garbanzo beans, and even coffee beans, made their way in front of dozens of hungry customers, just waiting to dig their spoons into bowls of all different kinds of beans.
    This was family style dining, and these customers certainly treated it as such. One section of the table had bean-eating best friends with arms wrapped over each other's shoulders, while another end had the fiercest bickering over who'd taken an unfair amount of beans. But it didn't matter, they were all together, and the beans would keep coming.

Contest on the Slopes

    Kythe, Corona, Zyler, and Kimberly lined up at the starting line. They decided to settle things on the slope, normal rules in place. That meant they'd have all weapons and enhancements available to them, to which none of the contestants disagreed.

    The lights counted down, and on blue they launched from the starting line, each gaining speed rapidly. Kythe made it out in front first, followed by Corona and Kimberly close behind. Zyler fell in behind them but lost pace quickly. Kythe made it to one of the drops first, an old rock he could toss backwards to try and trip one of the racers behind him. It was better than nothing, so he tossed it backwards without looking, and kept his focus forward.

    Corona and Kimberly both swerved around the rock -- they had great control of their boards -- and Corona managed to hit one of the drops herself. She opened it, revealing ice shots, one of her favorites.  Kythe and Zyler were already well acquainted with the effects of this weapon. Meanwhile, Zyler lay in the snow far behind now, having just tripped on Kythe's rock.

    Corona left Kimberly and sped up to catch Kythe at a tactical moment. There was a big jump before the finish, and Kythe was approaching it. Corona shot off all the ice shot charges, and as her rival was about to make the jump, he was frozen in place. Coronoa passed him, making a face at him as she did, then flew off the jump and slid into the finish line as she landed.

    Kimberly passed shortly after, making her own face at the trapped boy. His ice block shattered, and Zyler swerved by to help him up. The two friends hopped of the ledge of the jump and picked up tremendous speed descending the steep decline, and then they slid into the finish line with the girls leaning against the railing, looking as smug as ever.

    "Nice try boys!" Corona called.

    "Better luck next time!" Kimberly added.

    Kythe and Zyler grumbled, then navigated to the lift while the girls gloated behind them. "Hey don't sweat it bud, we'll get 'em next time." Zyler said

    "Heh yeah man.  I can't believe she got me with that shot!" Kythe replied.

    "It's all good. That was a single lap, with only a couple drop points. Let's go hang at the board shop, maybe they have new stock."

    "Good call! I've been thinking about getting a new one."

Trip to Meltwater Beach

    Meltwater Beach was the destination of the kids' class trip. The bus carried the students and their boards down the mountain from Wintertown, excitement building inside the closer they got. When they finally arrived, they all rushed out to claim their spots on the beach. The girls all wanted wide open space to lay in the sun and tan, while the boys immediately dropped their things by the water and jumped in.

    Corona and Kimberly met Chelsea and Brittany on a gentle slope, laid their towels out, and lied down to relax. Kythe glanced over and saw them snickering and whispering to each other. A plan immediately formed in his head.

    "Zy, let me see that bucket!" He called to Zyler who was catching crabs with Queth.
    "Sure man, just watch out for these little guys, they've got a nasty pinch!"
    "Even better." Kythe replied, snickering himself.
    "Whatcha gonna do with them, Kythe?" Queth asked.
    "You wanna go mess with the girls?" Kythe asked in return.
    Zyler and Queth looked at each other and grinned. "Definitely!"
    Kythe took the bucket of crabs and inconspicuously walked up from the water, while Zyler and Queth started throwing the ball back and forth. Queth "missed" a catch and the ball landed right in front of the girls. He ran to go pick it up, and when he did, he "accidentally" kicked sand all over them. The four girls jumped up in surprise and then realized when Queth had done.
    "Queth! Get back here you jerk!" Chelsea yelled, and then four of them chased him, each ready to cover him in sand. While they were giving chase, Kythe put a crab under each of the towels, then ran back to help Queth.
    "Sorry girls, sorry! That was my idea, you can have a free shot. The girls glanced at each other, then shrugged and threw handfuls of sand right at him before returning to their spots. Kythe wiped the sand from his face, and the three boys looked over in anticipation at the girls.
    A few moments later the four girls leap up screaming. They ran around with their towels secured firmly to their rear ends, and they eventually caught the attention of the entire beach. Kythe, Zyler, and Queth were lying on the sand laughing, and when Corona finally removed her towel with a yelp, she saw the crab scurry away, and then she knew.

    Corona helped the other girls remove their pinched-on towels and told them what happened. They gave chase once again with fury in their eyes. They boys would get more than two fistfuls of sand in their faces this time.

After School at Wintertown

    When school let out for the day, some students hung around out-front talking, but most made their way to the slope and began snowboarding down to their home. Kythe and Zyler were cruising down some greens and catching up from the day when Kythe immediately froze in place, stuck in an ice block.

    "Whoo! She got you back bud!" Zyler laughed, but then immediately froze in place himself.

    Corona and Kimberly race past them making faces. Kythe's block shattered, followed by Zyler, and the two of them took chase. They picked up some boosters lying on the course and sped up to the girls. Zyler swerved in and let off an ice pulse but missed. Kythe followed up and tried hitting them each with snowballs, but Corona and Kimberly dodged then sped away, escaping the obnoxious boys.

    Kythe and Zyler slid to a stop watching the girls descend down the slope. 

    "Dude you almost nailed them both with that pulse. Next time!" Kythe said

    Zyler laughed "yeah man. They're getting better, we can't let it stay that way!"

    "Ha nope. I'm starving, let's go eat."

    "Yeah bro, where to?"

    The two looked at each other, then in unison shouted, "Slidin' Sliders!" and high-fived. They fell back in stance and snowboarded down to Slidin' Sliders.

Before School in Wintertown

    Kythe tossed the snowball in his hands, feeling its weight one more time for good measure. Dense in his hands, he eyed his target. Corona was walking with Kimberly on their way to class.

    "Do it man!" Zyler said, nudging his friend.

    Kythe aimed and launched the snowball across the field, hitting Corona in the face. Kimberly rolled her eyes while steam began to rise as the snowball evaporated from Corona's fury. It was peculiar how that always happened. . .

    "Nice shot bro!" Zyler exclaimed, but the boys' countenance suddenly changed as the girls raced toward them. The boys fled from the girls' wrath, and as they were nearly caught, Principal Pith opened the front door to the school. If the girls continued pursuing, it'd look like they were the ones instigating.

    Furious, Corona and Kimberly stopped their chase and returned to get their bags before entering the school. Kythe and Zyler busted out laughing behind one of the pine trees in front of the school. Once they'd gotten all their laughs out, they stood up and headed inside themselves.

    "That was a great shot dude! You nailed her!" Zyler said patting Kythe on the back.

    "Ha thanks! Corona makes the best target. Every single time you get a priceless reaction from her!" Kythe responded.

    "No kidding! Alright, I'm off to Math, blagh. Catch you after!"

    "Alright man, see ya!"

    The boys parted ways in the foyer, each heading to his respective class. Principal Pith remained in the doorway shaking his head at them. Once all the students were in or on their way to class, he closed the door and commenced the school day.

Bunion Man

    "Let go of my purse you hooligan!" the old lady cried as her attacker attempted to snatch her handbag.

    "Give it up old lady! Hand over the purse and I'll spare your ankles" the thief yelled back.

    "But I have pictures of my grandchildren in here! You can't have the pictures of my dear sweet grandchildren"

    "Heh heh too bad you old bag, now hand. it. ngh. . . over!" The thief gave one final tug and pulled the purse free from the old lady's clutches.

    "Nooo! the photos of my dear sweet grandchildren. Can someone please stop him!"

    "Have no fear! Ow! For Bunion Man is here! Ow!" Bunion Man could be heard yelling from the block over.

    "Oh, Bunion Man, thank goodness you're here! Please, stop that attacker!"

    "Of course, little old lady! You there, attacker, release that purse or feel the foot of justice in your face!" Bunion Man shouted at the attacker.

    A brief glimpse backward is all the attacker gave Bunion Man and so decided his fate. Bunion Man bounded toward the attacker, pain shooting through his feet with every step. But he reached the attacker, and when he did, he roundhouse-kicked the attacker, landing his bunion of justice right in the face. The purse flew up from the attacker's hands, and the old lady caught it. After she thanked Bunion Man, she whacked the thief in the face with the purse, then went on her way. Bunion Man proceeded onward to his next calling, while the attacked laid there thinking about his life choices. 

The Galactic Highway

    Ashflack painted the road with the darkness of space. The previous day, the scraping team came out and removed the top layer of pavement. This morning the team rebuilt the base, and it was awaiting the final layer of sealant. That's where Ashflack came in.

    He stared up to the heavens and gazed into the celestial expanse. Starbeams shot down and filled his brush. When it was full, he swept it out in a wide arc, flooding the surface of the road with a clear dark film. As it dried, the starbeams crystalized in the surface, leaving a galactic trail for all travelers to pass along.

Raisins for Dana

    Dana left her house to go trick or treating with her friends, and on the way out her mother asked her to push the trash in the bin. Dana ignored her mother and rushed to another part of the neighborhood before her mother could ask again. Very well her mother thought, squinting her eyes as she watched Dana disappear behind the turn of the street. And as she did, her mother cast a particularly aggravating spell, as she was known to do.

    Red smoke wafted up and out from her wand, then shot out to follow Dana. When the group reached their first house, Dana's friends received their candy first. As Dana stepped up to utter the candy-receiving mantra, the red smoke found her, and she inhaled it. "Trick or treat!" she said just as the rest of her friends, and in returned she received a box of raisins. Frowning, Dana thanked the neighbor, then continued on their route. At the next house, the same thing happened. Dana was last in line, and she received raisins. She decided to go first as the following house, and once again, a box of raisins was tossed into her bag.

    She was beginning to get frustrated, but at the next house the spotted a bowl. A bowl of real candy. Yes Dana thought, and they all ran up and grabbed what they could before the contents were empty, except for a lone box of raisins. Dana turned around and immediately sought the next house. "Dana, you didn't get anything from the bowl?" Milly asked.

    "No, there wasn't anything good left."

    "What do you mean, that might have been the best haul we see all night!"

    Dana spun around and shouted "No, you all got all the good stuff! All that's left is a box of raisins" And she pointed at the bowl, which Dana's friends could plainly see was empty. They looked at Dana, confused, and then Dana looked to see the bowl for herself. Empty.

    Dana peered in her bag, and there she saw four boxes of raisins. Four houses, four boxes. Mom thought Dana.

    The group continued on through the night, and Dana's enthusiasm wilted more and more after each house. Her sack grew heavier and heavier with raisin boxes, and eventually the spell didn't even try to conceal itself. One their way back home, one house opened the box of raisins and dumped them in Dana's sack. The next opened two boxes and dumped them both in. Then an entire jar of raisins was dumped in, followed by five-gallon bucket of raisins, and penultimately a man shoveled an entire heap of raisins he had sitting just inside his front door into her sack.

    When they arrived at the last house before they returned home, Dana stayed on the sidewalk while her friends received their candy. As they were returning to their friend, the door opened back up and the neighbor threw a single raisin at Dana, hitting her square in the forehead and plopping into her sack.

    The girls returned home with Dana, then said goodbye for the evening. Dana flung the front door open, Sat her sack against the foyer wall, grabbed the trash and brought it out to the trash bin, slamming the door behind her shouting "Fine, I'll take out the trash!" Once she had completed her chore, she flung the door back open, stepped inside, slammed it shut again, and brought her raisins upstairs.

    "Are you happy now!" she shouted again at her mother who was sitting on the couch sipping pumpkin tea, and then she dropped her sack in the middle of the floor and went to her room crying.

Once some time had passed, Dana's mother came up to talk to her. "Thank you for taking the trash out like I asked honey." Dana didn't respond, and her mother continued "can you show me what you got from trick or treating?" Dana turned and faced her mother.

    "You know what I got." she said. "Sorry for not taking the trash out when you asked."

    "It's ok, dear.  Would it really have been that difficult to just do it right as you were leaving the house?"

    "No, I was just excited to go out with Milly and Chelsea."

    "I know. Well come on, can you please show me what the neighbors gave you?"

    Dana rolled her eyes then trudged downstairs. When her mother sat back down, Dana grabbed the sack from the bottom corners, and lifted it up, dumping the entire sack's worth of. . . candy onto the floor!

    "Mom! Thank you!" Dana exclaimed.

    Dana's mother smiled "You're welcome. Next time can you do what I ask at the first request?"

    "Yes Mom, I'm sorry." Dana said, and then sat down to sort through her candy, and dispose of any boxes of raisins she found.

Belsniste's Dilemma

    "You have a choice. Drink the deadly delirium poison or become my servant" the witch explained to Belsniste. As a savant, the decision came nearly instantaneously to him, but she didn't know this. He'd better hide that information as long as possible. Drinking the deadly delirium poison, if it didn't kill him, would leave him severely mentally wounded. Losing any mental faculty would be hard, but when Belsniste was so advanced already, though he could afford to lose mental prowess, the hurt would be greater too. The other option would be becoming Snabelda's slave, which would be demeaning, and grueling work, but he had a better opportunity for control, ironically. He could use his mind to slowly work out the holes in her plan and eventually escape.
    So, he chose to become her servant. When the decision was made, people flashed from her cauldron and bound Belsniste's wrists in chains. Lumbering ogres came stomping in through a giant door to the side. They stared around, confused, before sniffing in Belsniste's direction, and then trudged over and hauled him over their shoulders. Belsniste struggled in vain before succumbing to their overwhelming strength as they brought him to the dungeon. "I'll summon you when you're needed, servant." Snabelda muttered as he departed through the door. Now Belsniste just had to figure out how escape the witch's spell, and this awful lair of hers. He had time in abundance, but he had little desire to remain her servant for long.

Franklin O'Lantern

    Franklin O'Lantern sat outside the on the front porch waiting for trick-or-treaters to come by. He was a ferocious looking pumpkin with terribly sharp teeth and angry eyes. His two nostrils tilted up as he sneered at potential passersby.
    His plan was to bounce up and down and snarl at them to try and scare them away before they could get any candy. The sun was lowering in the sky, and in the distance, he could see the first of the neighbors departing their homes in hopes of a heavy sack. He watched patiently for some time before any children came up to his house. Franklin inspected each child thoroughly. He didn't want to actively scare just any child. No, he wanted to scare the child that would give the best reaction, at the best time.
    The best time was soon upon him. The streets were now flowing with trick-or-treaters. A river of glowsticks and flashlights wove among the trees lining the streets. Finally, a chubby child, who seemed to have already had his fill of candy for the evening, arrived at the door with several of his friends. As the child reached up to knock on the door, Franklin leaped into the air, as high as the child's face, and began snarling and barking. The child shrieked like a banshee and ran away, leaving an offending odor in his wake. When Mrs. O'Lantern opened the door, she was met by hysterically laughing children, who could barely say their "Trick or Treat." She smiled, confused as to what was so funny, and sent them off with a "Happy Halloween!"

Sky Salmon Fishing with Grandpa

    I ran up to Grandpa and asked if I could join him sky salmon fishing.

    "Sure can, kid" he replied. "Here, help me load this rope while I get the poles."

    I eagerly grabbed the rope, and though it was a little bulky for my small stature, I managed to heave it into the skyboat. Grandpa came back chuckling, climbing into the craft and strapping the poles down, making sure they were each tethered properly in case they slipped out.

    I hopped in, tethered myself, and then Grandpa started the lift and directional propellers. We began hovering, and Grandpa untied the dock line, letting us float freely. The propellers whirred louder as he began our ascent, and as we rose higher, I started to see the sky salmon leaping among the clouds.

    "There they are Grandpa! Should I get the poles out?"

    Grandpa chuckled "No not yet, we need to find a good thermal to anchor to first."

    Oh right, we'd need to set our anchor sheet to use the thermal's current to counter the sky salmon's pull. Eventually we found a good thermal between some nice puffy clouds, and Grandpa let out the anchor sheet. A circular frame holding a giant sheet arose from the skyboat and kept us centered on the thermal.

    Grandpa dropped the propellers to an idle, and finally he took out the poles. We each grabbed one, took a seat, and simultaneously launched floathooks from our poles. They shot out from a chamber under the main pole, and when they reached their apex, a charge ignited and inflated small floats that kept the hooks from descending back down. They offered minimal control but were otherwise guided by whatever currents they lay on.

    Sky salmon continued leaping upcurrent; it was an amazing sight. In the distance we saw real airships cruising along, probably fishing bigger game. That's ok, right now I was enjoying my time with Grandpa.      It was one of those clear days where the sky was just so blue and the clouds looked like an illustration.  We sat back watching the salmon leap when suddenly my line tugged hard. It almost slipped out of my hands, but I caught its grip before it could. Grandpa dropped his pole and grabbed my pole with the firm grip of a skyfisherman. He handed it back and made sure I was holding firmly this time, then he let me work the pole, slowly reeling it in as the fish fought.

    Little by little I managed to reel it in, and once we secured it in the boat, Grandpa looked at me, then started laughing, then gave me a big hug saying "great job kiddo! Your first sky salmon, what a day! I'm so proud of you!" I laughed with him; it felt so good to finally catch one.

    We pulled the thermal anchor back in, started up the propellers, and descended back home. Dad was home when we returned, and I leapt out to tell him about the catch. He laughed too and came over to help unload the fish with Grandpa. We all helped scale the fish while Mom started the fire. When it was cleaned, gutted and cooked, we all sat down to eat. That's one of my best memories.

The Nagberrys

    Mr. and Mrs. Nagberry sat at the table waiting for the kettle to boil. Outside flew birds of many different colors, and the couple made sure to comment on them as they danced in the bird bath. They'd been waiting for quite some time now, and Mrs. Nagberry remarked "How much longer until the kettle is ready dear." Not wanting to endure another tirade of her nagging, Mr. Nagberry responded "Let me go check dear." He stood up and walked over to the kettle.

    Before he'd walked Mrs. Nagberry inquired again about the kettle. Mr. Nagberry rolled his eyes, but when he arrived at the kettle he halted. He couldn't delay, or Mrs. Nagberry'd become suspicious, so he coughed loudly and turned the kettle on to begin boiling the water. "Are you okay dear?" Mrs. Nagberry loudly asked.

    "Fine dear.  Still have a little longer to wait on the kettle." Mr. Nagberry replied as he sat back down next to his lovely wife, sweat dripping down the back of his neck.

Edna Shredder

    Edna Shredder sat at her desk shredding documents for everyone in the office. The pile grew quickly, but she whittled it away steadily and didn't complain. No one paid her much attention; they just walked by and put the documents they needed shredded in her pile.

    One day, though, the front door burst open, and three attackers entered shouting for everyone to remain in their cubicles while they pillaged the office. The rest of the office complied, but not Edna. "Not on my watch" she shouted back as she leapt over her desk with her shredder in hand.

    The top was removed revealing exposed cross-cut shredding blades, the nemesis of any attacker. Edna launched forward, tackling the foremost attacker, and began shredding him. He fought back, but he was no match for her shredder. The other attackers approached to try and help, but Edna flipped backwards off the man, and held her shredder out, viciously threatening to shred anyone else who tried to attack her. The attackers put their hands up and backed up slowly, one of them helping the shredded attacker up, and left the building.

    Edna wiped her brow then returned with her shredder to her desk. She replaced the shredder lid and then resumed shredding her pile of documents. The rest of the office crept from their cubes astonished by what they had just witnessed. Unsure of what to say or do, they too resumed their work as if nothing had happened.

Notebreaker

    Pop! Pop! Pop! went the note balloons as Minus the Music Mouse sang the tune. He was at level thirteen of Notebreaker, and so far, no one in his class could beat him. Having perfect pitch helped.  Minus' classmates were certainly envious, but they couldn't help being amazed at the show he put on.  The satisfaction at hitting streaks of notes, popping all the balloons in quick succession, and triggering wild glowing effects throughout the room were mesmerizing.

    The song was coming near the end, and Minus hadn't missed a single note. Now his class was genuinely rooting for him. The final run approached, Minus focused and sang the last little bit of his heart out and completed level thirteen with a perfect score. His class erupted in cheers for him. No one had made it this far yet, and everyone was excited to see what that looked like.

Embret and the Tendrils

    Embret sat quietly, coiling braided cotton in an arm-length spool. It was enough to last the common person the rest of their life. It was enough to last him about a week. Hopefully that's all he'd need.

    He took the coil and loaded it into his feeder. It initialized, winding the strand through his ignition system, eventually protruding through the opening along his left wrist. The strand was saturated with oil, allowing it to keep a flame. Once Embret was confident in the wick, he departed to the Underbrush.

    After the five-hour hike, he found the hatch covered right where he and Torrid found it. I'm coming bud Embret thought as he opened the hatch and slid down. The Underbrush was dark and damp, but with his wick holding a steady flame, Embret navigated through confidently. Already his trail from before had grown over, so the blazes they'd left previously were his only means of navigation.

    After hours of retracing his steps, he knew he'd come close to the Tendrils' lair.  Embret decided to rest before approaching further. He extinguished the flame hesitantly, remaining half alert for sounds of the enemy.  Nothing stirred, and another few hours later, and though it was hardly sleeping, he awoke refreshed enough to continue.

    With his wick ignited again, he continued forward to the lair, and as he neared a sickly green fog spilled from the boundary. Memories of this noxious fume returned, and he paused. How long have they been in there, fool. You're their only hope.  Embret continued on, stifling a gag as he climbed up a nook between the wall and a tree. The fog settled below, so he could breathe clearly again from up here.

    Over the wall Embret could see sneaking critters, all trailing some slimy substance. It looked disgusting. Hopefully they hadn't gotten through Torrid yet. Farther back, he spotted his friend bound in vines, head drooped forward -- probably unconscious. In the center of the facility stood a tall industrial-looking pillar, with various openings in the organic webbing supporting it casting a green glow throughout the facility. From the top of the pillar fell the same green fog from earlier -- presumably this was its source.

    With this information in mind, Embret could take action. He formed a general plan in his head before leaping over. He needed to destroy the pillar, free Torrid, escape together, and make it back to the hatch. Easy enough, right?

    Embret leapt over the wall, and the nausea hit him immediately as he entered the fog again.  Struggling to think straight, he managed to remember his first task: destroy that pillar. Embret sucked fire from the wick into his palm, collecting it into a fireball which he then launched at the pillar. It hit the device, and singed all the organic matter away, but was otherwise unharmed. Warning lights flashed as the blast drew the attention of the creatures lurking in nearby rooms. 

    Embret's first instinct was to run for Torrid and force his way out, but he thought better for a second. He didn't think he'd been seen, and it 'd be better to keep it that way so he hid behind some nearby barrels and watched what they did. They released a box of tinier creatures that slithered up the pillar and began weaving between themselves, fixing the structure.

    Embret noticed however that they started weaving from three openings surrounding the base of the pillar. Connected to these openings were lines that he traced to a large tank along the other side of the wall. It seemed that must be the storage tank for whatever fueled this pillar. Not wanting to make a mistake this time, when the creatures returned to their "offices" he snuck over for a better view of the storage tank. There were two glowing orange fuel cells connected to it. Blowing those up would probably do the trick. So Embret formulated the new plan in his head. Blow up the fuel cells, hope those disrupt the noxious pillar, then save Torrid and get out of here.

    With that plan in place, Embret gathered an even larger fireball and launched it at the fuel cells, causing the entire storage structure to explode. Green liquid and metal shards flew everywhere. It had the same sickly smell as the fog, but less permeating. The fog he noticed had begun to dissipate, and he could think clearer again. Warning light flashed again, and this time stealth wouldn't be an option. On to step two.

    Embret raced for Torrid and launched a smaller fireball at him. It singed off all the vines containing him, as well as Torrid himself, but he'd be okay. Torrid came to consciousness, and after some confusion he saw Embret. Fresh energy swelled in him, and he leapt down embracing Embret. "You came back. Oh my gosh, you came back!"

    "I brought wick too." Embret said smiling. He opened his pack quickly, and unraveled half of what he had remaining, which was a lot less than he expected. They loaded into Torrid's pack which was lying on the ground. Torrid's pack initialized, and the duo were ready to escape.

    "Let's get out of here." Embret said.

    "Wait. They still have Flameingo. Over there." Torrid replied

    "Flameingo's alive? I assumed he'd be gone by now."
    "Nope, they kept him locked up in that cell. I'm not leaving without him."

Embret paused. It was just a bird, and this place was awful. "Okay, you lead the way. We'll get the bird and then we get out of here fast."

    Torrid led the way to Flameingo's cage, and the creatures spotted them. Before they could attack though, the duo shot fireball after fireball at them, incinerating any that tried to attack. They found Flameingo, and released him, but he was too weak to fly. Torrid carried him while Embret led the way back out of the facility.  Behind them, several larger creatures were pouring through doorways.

    Fighting them off would ensure their safety, but neither of them wanted to remain here any longer.  Vines crept along the floor and snapped at their limbs. More fireballs singed them away. The three fled the facility swiftly and didn't stop until the only light they could see was from their own flames.      Embret found his blaze trail and led them a little while longer before Torrid and Flameingo needed to rest. That was fine, they were mostly safe now.

Dagnice in the Ice Maze

    The Bitter Cold began seeping through his skin. Dagnice knew he'd have to face the frigitter eventually; every exit from the ice maze was guarded by one. This one struck first and true, before Dagnice could block it. The frigitter's tail barb pierced his thigh, and already he could barely move the limb. Once the Bitter Cold from the barb reached his femur, there'd be no healing of it.  It would freeze hard and eventually shatter. Dagnice had to escape the maze into the sunshine before that happened.

    He shook off the distraction in time to just dodge another strike, but cold pain shot through his leg.  Dagnice could see the exit right behind the frigitter. Maybe he could spam this dodge tactic and make it out? Defeating it wasn't much of an option at this point; that was disappointing, the loot he could return with would sell high. Not many did return with loot from frigitters, though, hence the high price.

    Spam dodging it was. Dagnice leapt, tucked, rolled, and recovered over and over. Cold pain shooting through his leg each time. He was slowing down. He could nearly feel the chill upon his bone. One last dodge-- the frigitter struck him in the abdomen in midair, chilling his core. Luckily the momentum from the attempted dodge kept his body moving through the exit. Dagnice couldn't bend his body, so he slid through and landed on the rocky slope supporting the ice maze.

    Rock didn't feel any better than ice on his stiff body, but he looked up and saw blue. Not the cold blue of ice in the maze. The warm, sunny blue of the sky. Then he felt the sun upon his body, and relief swelled inside him. Next would come the burning as his body restored his core temperature. Better that than succumbing to the cold. . .

Rainy Day Ralph

    Rainy Day Ralph trudged through the grass on the sunshiny day to school. Everyone always talked about how mopey he was. No one wanted to be his friend. His bad attitude was contagious, so his classmates kept away.

    All day he humphed in his desk, sulked through the halls, and nibbled at his food. Some kids tried to cheer him up, but all he did was sigh. Mrs. Meatball, the lunch lady, stopped by his table asking "what's the matter Ralphey? I've never seen a kid so glum."

    Ralph knew better than to ignore a grown up so he replied "It's just the sunshine. It's too bright."

    "Ahh, I see the problem. You need a little bit of rainy weather don't you."

    And for the first time that day he perked up and nearly smiled knowing that someone understood how he felt.

    Mrs. Meatball continued "well, it has been a bright and shiny summer, I'm sure rain is due soon. Maybe sooner than you think."

    That raised Ralph's hopes. The day continued on, and Ralph was just a little less mopey. By the end of the day, he had nearly forgotten about how bright and shiny it was outside, but then the bell rang. Ralph remembered he'd have to walk all the way home in the bright, shiny sun. His mope returned, and once again sulking through the hallway, he made his way to the school entrance, wishing just to be home already.

    As he neared the doors though, he heard a noise. Then he noticed, it wasn't quite as bright in the entryway. He looked out through the glass and his mope turned to joy when he saw rain pouring down. It wasn't just raining, it was storming, and for the first time that say Ralph smiled. He swiftly passed all the other now-moping kids, walked straight through the doors, and all the way home with his chin held high.

Little Old Ms. Crickety Schmidt

    Little old Ms. Crickety Schmidt lived on top of 111 Dingleberry Lane. Her house was just as old and crickety as she was. It sat upon a tall hill with a winding road to get to the top. This was the haunted house all the kids talked about, and they all joked about trick-or-treating at her house for Halloween, but no one would actually do it.

    Well, no one except Tom Squanion. Tom was a short, hefty kid who was tired of being bullied, so he decided to prove himself by trick-or-treating at little old Ms. Crickety Schmidt's house. That Halloween night, all the kids arrived at the front gate at the bottom of the hill.  Tom stood before it shaking but eventually stepped through and began the long journey up the winding road.

    This wasn't an easy hike. The hill was steep, and Tom wasn't a very active kid; he was out of breath by the first turn. Still he persisted, not to let a little exhaustion stop him. At each turn he stopped, hunched over wheezing, but still resumed the hike. Finally Tom arrived at the door, and once he resumed breathing normally, and after a brief hesitation, he tapped on the door, and murmured "Trick or Treat."

    The only sound Tom heard in response was the crickety creaking of the house. A gentle breeze made Tom shiver; he had perspired much on his way up the hill. Not wanting to walk away empty-handed, he tried again. "Trick or treat" he said, knocking on the door. Once again, the only noise he heard was the crickety creaking of the old house.

    Tom decided to try one more time before returning to his friends. This time he gave a good pound and nearly shouted "Trick or --" The door swung open before Tom's fist made contact with the door, and he tumbled forward into little old Ms. Crickety Schmidt. To Tom's surprise, little old Ms. Crickety Schmidt was not little, nor old, nor crickety. She was tall, not very old at all, and at first glance seemed to be quite limber. She was peculiar, though.

    When Tom managed to stand up, he courageously said again "trick or treat. . . ma'am."  And tall, not-very-old, Ms. Limber Schmidt just smiled. Tom looked around nervously. The inside of the house was far different from the outside. Everything seemed sturdy and well built. A fire burned in the giant hearth, and he noticed many scholarly items throughout the rooms on either side of the hall.

    "You aren't little, old, or crickety. All those kids are wrong." Tom said.

    The woman laughed. "No, I'm none of those. Yet, anyway. So, the eerie facade I made of this property didn't last. Well, you've certainly earned your treat, as requested. I have no candy, but I did brew apple cider earlier, if you'd like some."

    Unsure of what else to say, Tom agreed, and followed the woman to the kitchen. With mugs in hand, they sat by the fire, and she formally introduced herself. "I'm Mrs. Heverdeen.  I live here with my husband, who's in the observatory at the moment. We live here because it's away from noise and farther from light pollution."

    "Nice to meet you Mrs. Heverdeen, I'm Tom. All the kids at school say you're little old Ms. Crickety Schmidt, but I guess that's just a story."

    "Nice to meet you Tom. Well, I'd like to keep that story going if it's ok with you. We enjoy our privacy, and if it's a secret you can keep, you're welcome back at your leisure. My husband and I do get caught up in our studies, so company is nice now and then. But it can so quickly turn into noise, which we despise."

    "Wow, are you sure? That'd be great, I'm not that popular at school, that's why I came up here in the first place, to show everyone I'm not scared. I won't bother you too much."

    After they'd finished their cider, Mrs. Heverdeen walked Tom to the door and reminded him to keep everything he'd witnessed this evening a secret. With a wave, she shut the door, and Tom began his long hike back down the hill. When he reached the bottom, half of the kids had left, but the ones who stayed excitedly asked how it was. Tom just replied "It was creepy.  No one answered, but I was so tired from the hike that I had to rest for a little bit before coming back down." Disappointed, the group departed to try and catch the remaining houses for candy before Halloween was over.

Bençois The Baguette Farmer

    It was an early morning in late September, and Bençois was already dressed and pulling open the garage door. His combine sat here, waiting all summer to harvest Bençois' baguettes.  Bençois climbed in, started the engine and drove out to begin harvesting his twenty acres of baguettes. He was well known in town, and most of the residents looked forward to October simply because it meant Bençois would be selling his warm, freshly harvested baguettes; they were the best in the region.

    When he finished traversing his land, he brought the haul back to rest; they were still hot.  The following week -- the first week of October -- he'd package them up and bring them into town to sell. In the meantime, he spent his time reflecting on the summer and cleaning his equipment. This was a well-earned week of rest, and he always enjoyed the respite.

    The following week, after the baguettes had cooled to a steamy warm, Bençois packaged them all up, loaded them in the truck, and brought them into town. The townspeople all cheered for him as he arrived, and they all rushed up to the truck when he parked. After he managed to subdue the crowd, he opened up the truck, and began the exchanges. After thirty minutes he was sold out. He closed up the truck, drove back to the farm, and began planning for next season before he went to bed. He was fortunate to have this land. Farming baguettes was hard work, but seeing the joy they brought to the townspeople made it all worthwhile.

The Annual Fried Chicken Eating Contest

 Billy Fried Chicken woke up Saturday morning like he always did. Off he took his night bucket, and after he dressed himself in his usual white T-shirt and overalls, he placed his going-out bucket on top of his head, and departed his trailer.  The difference between this Saturday morning and the other Saturday mornings, was today was the annual fried chicken eating contest at the county fair, and he intended to keep his streak of championships going.

When he arrived at the fair, he made his pleasantries with the fair goers, and then navigated toward the contestant booth.  Already waiting there was Chris Crispy Fingers, and Miss Melanie Marrow.  They each nodded to one another, and shortly after they saw Bubba Bones sauntering up. He walked with the confidence that said " Not this year Billy", and he met Billy's gaze to confirm it.

The contestants were all seated, and the Grand Fowlmeister announced the rules, despite their intimate familiarity with them already. Lady Ligament strutted over to "The Coop", where the supply of fried chicken rested, and unveiled the pyramid of buckets, each full to the brim with drumsticks and wings in equal amounts.

Lady Ligament passed out two buckets to each contestant to begin with, as was tradition, and when they were ready, the Grand Fowlmeister commenced the contest. They each finished their two buckets together, but by the end of the third the gap began to widen.  Chris Crispy Fingers tailed off first, with Miss Melanie Marrow close behind.  They always gave great efforts, but everyone knew the real competition was between Billy and Bubba.

They each finished their fourth, fifth, and sixth buckets at nearly the same time, and likewise began to slow by their seventh.  They continued on; as long as they were actively eating the whole time, their pacing could slow.  A single drumstick remained in each bucket, and it was clear that's all either of them could handle.  Bite by bite they managed their way through the appendage, and when they both finished, they dropped the bone in the bucket, and the Grand Fowlmeister announced "A tie! For the first time in the history of this fried chicken eating contest, we have two joint winners!"

Billy and Bubba turned to each other, and raised their hands for a high-five.  But Bubba's hand missed as Billy's reached higher and he called with a heavy breath ". . .eight!."  The crowd silenced, and after she recovered from her shock, Lady Ligament brought Billy his eighth bucket.  Billy attacked this bucket with new vigor, and managed to finish it.  Bubba sat back, completely impressed, and when the bucket was finished, he stood up and applauded Billy.  The crowd erupted in cheers, and Billy stood with fists raised high.

The Grand Folwmeister donned Billy with his seventh golden wing, and Billy looked out at the crowd.  Tears dribbled down his cheeks, and he gave Bubba a big hug.  Though rivals, the two of them had much respect for each other.  They departed the stage to attend the rest of the fair, and ponder the events of the day.

The Enigma Express

    "All aboard the Enigma Express!" Cried the cross-eyed conductor. He sat on a swirling cloud of green and purple and wove a sparkling wand around as he made his announcements. Janice and Everduke dodged it narrowly as the boarded the train.

    "I'm so excited Dukey! The Enigma Express! They all say it's the most remarkable ride." Janice said clutching Everduke's arm as they sat in their cabin.

    "I said don't call me that, Janice! It portrays me as a child. But yes, I'm quite excited for this too. I just hope it isn't too rough on the rear." Everduke replied.

    The couple passed the time observing the other passengers board, patiently waiting for the train to depart. The attraction drew quite a few unique people, including a jester and his accountant, an accountant and his lawyer, and a lawyer and his sandwich. Upon seeing this, Everduke and Janice realized their hunger. They'd been waiting for a while now without having departed, so they decided to wave down the trolley for some refreshment.

    They nestled back in their seats with a sandwich and soda each, and the lawyer they noticed earlier checked his back pocket as he walked by, making sure he wasn't pickpocketed.

    Eventually the conductor announced their departure on the speaker, and the couple's nerves tingled with anticipation. The train jolted from rest then slowly gained momentum. Outside the scenery began shifting from typical landscape to otherworldly fascinations. Mushrooms sprouted where trees stood and marionettes descended from the clouds, each singing a haunting lullaby. Fireworks burst in the atmosphere and then swirled from galactic spirals into coffee with fresh creamer, which then rained down upon the land, sending the roasted aroma through their nostrils.

    The scenery continued shifting in this manner for some time before a commotion in the car aisle disturbed them. Everduke peered out from their cabin and beheld the jester and the lawyer with the sandwich wrestling over said sandwich. Not wanting to miss the entire attraction because of this, Everduke shouted at the two on the floor "Get up! What do you two think you're doing? The rest of us are trying to enjoy the ride!"

    The jester replied "this buffoon won't give me his sandwich!"

    "I told you I'd gladly sell you the sandwich for ten!"

    The accountant chimed in "we made it quite clear we don't have the funds for such a purchase, now if you'd please hand over the sandwich, we can all enjoy the ride in peace."

    "I'm not handing my sandwich over for free, ten or nothing!"

    Suddenly another voice said "if you'll all be quiet, I'll take the sandwich!"

    The second accountant handed the lawyer a ten and snatched the sandwich. His own lawyer followed behind, meticulously taking notes in case a case should arise from this fiasco.

    The jester crossed his arms and stomped back to his cabin sullenly, while the other passengers each returned to their own. Everduke sat back down, and he and Janice managed to catch the last bit of the ride: a file of teddy bears marching with singing walking sticks, waving to the passengers as they returned to the station.

    "Well that was the most disturbing disruption I've ever experienced!" Everduke exclaimed.

    Janice patted his hand and commented "we still had a show! We were entertained the whole time, weren't we dear?"

    Everduke smirked. "I suppose that's true. That's why I love you dear, you always see the good, even in the bad."

    The train came to a stop, and the conductor sat by the exit, holding his hand out not-so-subtly requesting tips from the passengers. The accountant with the lawyer were first out, and realizing he didn't have any money on him, the accountant handed the conductor the sandwich he purchased from the other lawyer. The conductor nodded and said "have a great day, come again soon."

    Everduke and Janice were next, and since neither of them finished their own sandwich, they both handed the conductor their remains, to which he nodded and said "have a great day, come again soon."

    The couple turned around to see the jester, his accountant, and the sandwichless lawyer exit the train leaving nothing for the conductor. I'm response, the conductor gave the each the most dreadful scowl, and seemed to mutter something under his breath, though they couldn't discern what. Shortly after, they realized what it must have been, for the three stingy passengers were now each wearing soggy sandwich shoes and slipped and fell all over each other.

    "I think we got more than we paid for this day, Everduke." Janice said

    "I think so too Janice." Everduke replied as they began their journey home.

Piano Lifting With the Neighbors

    Tim Muscleschmuck was on his way back from the gym, drinking his 64 fl oz. protein shake as per usual, when Wiseguy Sam was trying to carry a piano out from Mrs. Shmoogwyle's house. Tim saw a problem immediately. Sam was a strong guy but not lift-a-piano strong. He'd throw out his back and be crushed under the weight of the instrument. Tim knew it was his time to shine.

    He chugged the rest of his protein shake, tossed the jug to the side, and ran up to Sam to help him lift. He was met with a mocking jeer. "Outa the way Tim! There ain't enough room for dis heah piano and dose funny lookin' muscles a' yours!" Tim's muscles were funny looking, and they did take up a lot of space, as was evident by the number of people unintentionally knocked to the ground by them as he walks down the street most days.  So, Tim didn't take umbrage at the comment.

    Sam's legs were starting to shake, and just before his knees buckled, Tim grabbed the piano and gently kicked Sam across the street. The piano was bulky, so Tim did request the help of Mrs. Shmoogwyle, to which she gladly obliged. The two of them successfully maneuvered the piano out of the house, and over to Loch Lennies Yoga and Beer Garden for their new jazz corner.

    Grateful for their help, Lenny, the owner, gave them drinks on the house. As Tim and Mrs. Shmoogwyle were enjoying their beverages, Wiseguy Sam came stomping up to them, ready to pick a fight, but before he could, Tim grabbed him in a chokehold and gave him a big ol' noogie. Seeing there was an addition to their party, Lenny came over with a beer for Sam. Sam couldn't deny a free drink, so he relaxed and sat and enjoyed it with his new friends.

The Living Memory Machine (TM)

    He had kept their mother alive in their thoughts. Too alive, perhaps. That was the downside of the Living Memory Machine (TM). Nathan had invented it as a way to keep his mother around, and initially his siblings approved. As time went on though, her nagging worsened, and her kindness and thoughtfulness diminished. They could always get up and unhook from the machine, but the implants left imprints of their mother in them for some time, and she always left them with "Get back here you ungrateful piece of sheep's hoof. Is that any way to treat your mother?"

    And inevitably they'd return. The guilt was too much to bear, and at least when they returned, the nagging would stop for a moment.

    They'd been able to deliberate briefly when they realized the situation was getting out of hand.  They all agreed the machine needed to be turned off, but it was easier said than done. It felt like killing their mother, even though she was very much already dead. As they ruminated on the idea, though, their mother eventually picked up on their plan, and she ascended to a new level of hysteric wrath. "DON'T YOU DARE TURN ME OFF! I AM YOUR MOTHER! WHAT CHILD WOULD SILENCE THEIR OWN MOTHER? THE MOST UNGRATEFUL KIND THAT'S WHAT!  I KNEW THE MOMENT YOU WERE BORN NATHAN THAT YOU --"

    Silence.

    Winston did the deed no one else could muster the courage to do. He unplugged the Living Memory Machine (TM) and silenced their mother from their minds for good. "Thanks Winston. That was hard but thank you."

    "Yeah. No problem."

    The siblings sat there for a bit before getting up and going out to clear their heads. Sheep's Hoof Pub it was, as usual.