Greasy Gus

    Greasy Gus was the town's local slimeball. Whenever he passed anyone on the street, he'd send them running from his smell. Those unfortunate enough to have to follow his trail to their destination always had to be extra careful with their steps, lest they slip on the drops of grease he left behind. If anyone was in his way, he'd give'm a good "Outa' my way moron!" and that usually cleared his path.
    One day, his shout failed to move an especially stubborn man sitting on a park bench. The man continued reading his newspaper as if there were no one there. Greasy Gus didn't like stubborn people, he liked to have his way, so when this fellow didn't move, he was perturbed.

    He tried yelling louder. No reaction.

    He tried yelling longer. No budge.

    He tried yelling louder and longer until his face turned purple and lungs wheezed out of air. Not a single movement.
    Greasy Gus was so irritated at this man that he wound his arm back and gave him a big smack on the back of the head. When his hand hit the statue, it shattered his bones, and he squealed in pain.
    The EMT's came to try and help him, but they couldn't get a good grip because of all the grease. This hand needed treatment though, so they decided to slide him along all the way to the hospital. Those watching cheered in joy knowing he wouldn't be around town for some time. Maybe he'd think before he acted in the future?