Apple Smackems

    "Hey Kids! Are you tired of that old, boooring, bland Apple Crunch cereal? I know I sure am. I need something more exciting in my life, don't you?"

    "Yeah!"

    "Well fear no more! Now introducing Apple Smackems!"

    "Apple what?"

    "Apple Smackems! The brand-new face-smackin' apple cereal to get your day started right!"

    "Oooh! Apple Smackems!"

    "That's right kids, Apple Smackems! Pour yourself a bowl, add a couple glugs of milk, take a bite, and feel the smack! You'll be lying on the floor with no idea of what just hit you. But then you'll remember. Apple Smackems!"

    Smack.  Smack. Smack smack.  Smacksmacksmacksmack.

    "Whoa! These are great!  Can we have some more?"

    "Of course you can! Just ask you parents to take you to the store right now and have them buy you some Apple Smackems! What parent would say no to a healthy food like apples? Not a good parent that's for sure. That's why all the good parents buy Apple Smackems! To make sure their children start their day off right with a face-smackin' good breakfast."

    "Gee thanks mister!"

    "Don't thank me! Go thank your parents for buying you the cereal that helps you start your day off right, with face-smackin' Apple Smackums!"

    "Mom! Dad! Can we go get some Apple Smackums?"

    "Ha ha, of course kids! Hop in the car!"

    "Ah, well they're off to make a good decision. Are you?"

    Apple Smackums are in no way part of a complete breakfast. Parental supervision required. Consume at your own risk. Apple Smackems, Beef Crunch Surprise, Hairy Dairy Milk, and other affiliated products cannot be held liable for injury after consumption.