Saladbar Slytherin

(Gangsta rap with singing chorus in italics)

"He ain't ever gonna stop"

I'm Saladbar Slytherin

Gotta keep these greens from witherin...

They're all saying come hither and

It's really makin me dither cuz:

I got a salad bar job to do

And I might have to pull a Pettigrew:

Down some of that scrumptious polyjuice

Cuz I can't go hangin' 'round with these fools   yeah

Chorus

Iceberg, Romaine, Rocket greens

Come down to the salad bar, don't make a scene

Tomatoes, croutons, and dressing on top

He's Saladbar Slytherin and he ain't ever gonna stop

"Troll in the dungeon!" I don't care

I gotta get this hair-net 'round my hair

These students need salad to fuel their brains

Don't forget that crunchy topping made with 20 whole grains!

Last on top goes that sweet tangy dressing

You know the one, it hit's your tongue and it's always impressing

Made from the one and only fruit eligible

The funny upside-down growing PLUM DERIGIBLE!

Chorus

Iceberg, Romaine, Rocket greens

Come down to the salad bar, don't make a scene

Tomatoes, croutons, and dressing on top

He's Saladbar Slytherin and he ain't ever gonna stop

All right, here they come

The students fresh from potions, they're on the run

To the Great Hall with stomachs a'growl

When they see my salad bar they'll all give a werewolf's howl

They've been trapped in that classroom, with the noxious fumes

They need the welcome taste of salad straight from the lunchroom

They each grab a plate and fill it high with brain food

And ravenously eat it cuz it tastes so good!

Finally they're fed, and my job is done

But don't forget tomorrow is another one

These students need their salad to feed those big brains

Eat their salad every day cuz they're on the salad train

I clean up the salad bar after everyone's been fed

Then grab my salad jacket before heading off to bed

Salad is the keystone keepin' Hogwarts on top

I'm Saladbar Slytherin, and I ain't ever gonna stop

He's Saladbar Slytherin and he ain't ever gonna stop